cardiac arrest

tell me how you can have one
tell me to just fade away
to fade into silence
into the dark
into the dreamless sleep
that one craves so much

are there other ways?
ways to go in peace
in violence
in pain
in silence

knife thru your heart?
slit your wrist?
swallow a few pills
or
just go to sleep

this never made sense
life never did
i never did
i will never
ever
know what is sense

a crushing feeling in the chest
a pain from the back
down your left arm
shortness of breath
pains
unconscious
gone