Breaking News!

BREAKING NEWS!
FIRST INTELLECTUAL BOVINE SIGHTED IN TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC LIBRARY!
Reported by Lennel Tan

(Tampines, Singapore) In an unprecedented sighting this afternoon, a COW was sighted reading the local newspaper in Temasek Polytechnic.

Witnesses claim that the bovine walked into the 3rd floor reading area on its hind legs, and headed straight for the news section. It picked up a copy of today's Straits Times and sat down at one of the tables.

Miss Jolene Siow, a 1st year student in the polytechnic who was at the scene said, "It was sooooo weird. I was doing my photo essay project when suddenly I saw a cow walk in and sit right across where I was. I took my ah gong's camera phone and took the picture from behind the book shelf so that I won't scare the animal away."

Religious leaders believe that today's sighting was in fact a manifestation of Kamadhenu, the mythical and miraculous "wish-cow" in the Hinduism scriptures. Dr Weryvoring, a scholar from Bangladesh, said, "It was a manisfestation of Kamadhenu, the cow giwes ewerything that anyvone vishes, and became the symbolic representation of all other creatures." A few years back, it was believed that the hindu Elephant God started to receive offerings, physically. Statues of the Elephant God, Ganesha, actually "drank" milk offered by devotees.

However, scientists believe that the walking and reading cow was in fact a freak of nature. Dr Dolittle, an specialist in the field of genetic development believes that, "due to exposure to Bhangra and Hip Hop music, the genetic make up of the average bovine was altered. This caused an irreversible damage to the part of the brain which governs common sense and mental development." What was once a docile domestic animal with an under developed mind is now a fashion disaster with a penchant for reading.

Whatever the circumstances, whether it was a holy sighting, or a result of man tampering with nature, it is believed that the cow will be back. Members of the public speculate that the cow will be heading to the nearest watering hole along Serangoon Rd, affectionately known as Little India by the locals. Perhaps to do some schmoooooooozing.