edge of sanity

seems like i need the melatonin to help me sleep better... been off it for a week or 2 already but the problem is i cannot seem to get enough rest again... will have to start on it again.. never mind the depression... with or without it, i'll get depressed anyway...

talking about depression... i have no idea why i'm having mood swings and all these days... becoming more erratic and uncontrollable in the moods department... also saying things and behaving like a lunatic...maybe its the company i'm in... or the desperate need to fit in... i don't want to have the schizoid disorder thing come back or i'll just shut in again... but i can see some of the signs coming on... running home once school is over... shutting off from others when i can... being extremely conscious of what those around me think of me... ooh a relapse!

eyes are so tired by evening time... could it be that i'm getting a little shortsighted? but my eyesight is still fine... can still read the extremely fine prints...

need to get the damn desktop cleared off and "re-design" the working environment... probably do it tomorrow night or something... then will do some serious mugging over the weekend for journalism and medsoc... must really score for the mid term tests... time to bring on the bullshitting again...