shoppaholic part II

ok.. here's the revised shopping list...

1. CDRW External, Firewire. LaCie still i think...
2. Leather belt, sandals
3. Pay my aunt back for the laptop
4. Sunglasses
5. Protein mix
6. Haircut
7. Sony Ericsson Z600
8. CDs
9. Gym membership
10. New bag

my sis is getting the scanner... so that's settled... i wonder when the pay is going to come in... i'm really broke now... went to ikea with my sis this morning and picked up some yellow
candles for her, a yellow bath towel that i can bring about and an orange weighing scale... its not that accurate... i was 65kg then it became 62.. and just became 60... i think its gone nuts... tat's what you get for $6.90 weighing scale... ha!

anyway, here's the sweet thing of the day...

i was talking to my first bf, ray, on icq... i've been hanging out wif his ex coz we noe each other from pre-u seminar and he's back on holidays... so i juz went to msg him coz we wanted to ask him out for coffee, but didn't in the end... he still remembers all the sweet moments we had while we were together for that short periods of time from years back... the peck i gave him... the morning hug before i went to school... the song that was playing on the radio... i must admit i couldn't really remember those details... he even thought about me when he was in TP and they started the course i am in now... he told me he thought that the course was really good for me... and he even said he's proud that i did well for my exams... and its making me feel real bad... i wasn't good enough to him... i was too young to appreciate all that he did for me... i really wish i could make it up to him some way... i guess i realli was a spoilt brat back then... and poor him has had such a difficult life... if only i had what it took to take care of him... i will do anything to make it up to him...

it just makes me wonder again what i really want... what i should really do with myself... all i can think of now is to get a better life... but shud i focus on that and ignore all the rest? i'm telling myself i should not get into a relationship again because i've really had too much of the hurt and am so tired of going through it again... i know i'm the kind of guy that needs a lot of attention.. i'm an attention seeker... but now i'm not getting much of it from anyone in particular... so i'm just chatting around with people a whole lot to get my mind off everything else... how long can i keep it going on like this? i really wonder...

i've been laying off the drinks for the past few days... i know i shud be cutting down and i'm tryin my best too... i've also been tryin to sleep earlier these days... been wanting to go to the pool but the weather's been crazy.. and when its finally sunny again... i din feel well enuff... feeling feverish and all... it really sux...

i'm thinkin of writing a book... shud i?