the return of the thing

ok.. i'm back... well i left on january 2nd... and today is the 8th... wondering where i've went? well no where actually... just been through some really highs and lows in a matter of a week's time... i hope some of you are thinking what has happened during my leave of absence... well here's what went on in brief...

khimmy and i stopped "dating"... i decided that we couldn't carry on... excuse being that we're both going to be very busy and will barely have time for one another... reason being that i can very well see what the outcome of our "fights" will be... his personality doesn't really match well with my volatile nature... so i guess to lessen his worries and prevention is better than cure... so there... we're friends now...

have been helping ernest with some photography stuff and designing... coz he's got a doll convention thingie to go for in hongkong... i think he's still there enjoying himself... we did some really wild pictures for him to showcase his works... too bad i cannot put them up here coz they are trade secrets... haha

during these few days... i came to realise something... ever since the bastard ex of mine... i cannot feel the same way i did for someone as in the past... i mean.. i can't feel "love" for anyone... i can barely say the word... actually i don't say that word and mean it anymore... because i think i'm shutting that feeling away for good... why do i think so? well there's this guy i met at nicholas' birthday party... we hit off pretty well... and we went out a few more times after that... then he dropped the bomb on me... telling me that he's not ready for ANYTHING at all... then i was really upset... but then i didn't feel love for him... more like a strong liking... but why did i feel so miserable? then i did some recollection... with the last gf... it was really more of a strong liking too... same with khimmy... i didn't really "love" anyone at all... and at the rate this is going... i doubt i will love anyone anytime soon...

actually... the day that fella dropped the bomb on me... i was really upset... and i stormed out of the house and... GOT A NEW PHONE! haha... since my darling classmates all agree that "retail therapy rawks!"... i gave it a try... so i traded in my 7210 (wif a slightly damaged headset, which the fella din see)... got myself a sony ericsson T610 in red... beautiful phone... then i had to get a usb bluetooth adapter for junior so that i can transfer files between the 2... now i have tiny pictures of people in my phonebook... haha... and i also bought a sweater from springfield... and the "school of rock" soundtrack... and 2 camera bags... and printer ink catridges... and i'm going back to being poor very very soon...

well school's started too... n my sleeping habits have NOT been changed yet... so i'm going to crash very soon... u noe how tat is... emotionally stressed people deprived of sleep = maniac... i'm very very sleepy as i type this coz i onli slept 5 hrs last nite... lessons so far so good.. but plenty of crap to read... and i'm not a reader... so i think its going to be hell soon... gotta spend lots on textbooks too... gotta decide which to buy though...

oh and 2 nites ago i was really upset... got into the angry mode again... and poor khimmy was at the butt of my tantrums... sorry khimmy...

well ame, marilyn, haikel, amin and i watched school of rock... its very nice... not a fantastic show but really entertaining... i love the stevie nicks track in the movie... "edge of seventeen"... just like the white winged dove singing a song... whooo whooo whooooooo

i'm not in the class as my crush anymore... sad isnt it? i hope she'll do well...

going to send my antique cameras for servicing tomorrow... hopefully they still work... one of the antique ones actually cost 490 still! my goodness... vintage cameras can fetch quite high a price eh? i shall keep them and take good care of all of them... provided we do get them serviced in the end...

oh... and the epiphany thingie... story goes... people tell me if i really want to experience the power of god... i just need to pray real hard and ask for him to show it to me... well i did... i prayed for something but it did not happen... so i wonder... i'm doing psychology this semester... and they mentioned "self fulfilling prophecies"... is religion a case of that? who knows... i shall keep on waiting then... but the belief that there may yet be someone up there is getting stronger... albeit by a miniscule level...

and i HATE blogger for being down the last few days... just when i REALLY wanted to scream... it goes down... and i have NO WHERE to scream out my thoughts... bah

spent yesterday fixing tania's wireless network.... she got a modem and linksys router... went to her place... went thru everything... i exchanged my usb wireless adapter for a VIP card which i'm giving to khimmy... sort of an apology gift... anyway... the setup just didn't work... and trials and errors later... concluded it was the modem that was faulty... so we went back to simlim (from yishun mind you)... got it exchanged... then her brother and his gf came down to pick us up in his impreza... and we went to thomson for a peranakan dinner... fantastic i tell you... i loved the pong tauhu soup... and also the lady's finger... yes i ate that... it was really good... for those who don't really know me... i'm extremely picky about my veggies... finally got the setup to work when we got back... so yea...

well... that's what's been happening... now i'm goin to go read the other blogs and see what's been happening to the others...

another thing... was talking to this fella called dan from borneo over icq... he sort of "counselled" me... and he tot tat i had depression... so he listed 5 of the symptoms that he remembered... and i have 4 out of 5 symptoms... haha...

oh ya... thanks to sam, dan and sean for listening... appreciated