retail therapy

here's my new wallet
i also bought a suit today...but its going to be altered...
and i got 5 new ties...




i am broke again...

morbid

adj.
1a. Of, relating to, or caused by disease; pathological or diseased.
b. Psychologically unhealthy or unwholesome: “He suffered much from a morbid acuteness of
the senses” (Edgar Allan Poe).
2. Characterized by preoccupation with unwholesome thoughts or feelings: read the account of
the murder with a morbid interest.
3. Gruesome; grisly.

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ok.. its been a long time since i sat down and write serious stuff... the whole study week and rest week has been one hell of a mess... 1 test that i didn't study enough for... projects that are half done... assignments that are half done... since the new year started, i just haven't been able to really sit down and do work... the mind just isn't in the correct... err... mindset... to work... its like i'm more interested in doing other things... more interesting things... all the business plans and stuff like that are not getting completed... more interest in feature writing and photography... even psychology is taking a back seat... although i'm soo interested in psychology in the past.. it just doesn't seem to get any attention from me...

my mum isn't feeling well... i was thinking about it all night... the whole "what would i do if something happened to my mum" thought... then it became how i'd kill myself if something happened to her... do i do it before the funeral is organised so the others can organise a "1 for 1" thing... or after i complete the whole funeral... then kill myself... so much to consider... its just something to think about...

then thinking about that... how about when i'm old? wld i rather live alone and old... or kill myself when i've had everything that i needed to do... lookin at the ways things are going... plus my changing personality... which is getting from bad to worse... i'd become a difficult person to live with... and being so difficult... wld i ever have someone to live with?

after the bastard bf of mine lied to me... right now... everything i hear becomes, by default, a lie... ok... little things i can still believe... but those "relationship" thingies that i hear... i'd rather not believe until i have proof... solid proof that i'm being told the truth... all this paranoia is really killing me... and its making me really afraid of getting into a full blown relationship... i'm like SCARED of being in a relationship... afraid of being cheated on... afraid of being lied to... afraid to go through the whole honeymoon then fighting phase... and eventually the "break up"... its all too painful a cycle to go through...

dating is fine... i'm enjoying sean's company a whole lot... but then... its almost confirmed that he will be posted overseas for his ns... which may be a year or more... i guess its all predestined... things to happen this way... if that's how it is... i will have to accept it...

seriously.. i think my brain is really screwed up... getting weaker... i definitely wasn't this way last year... i'm not sure if the schizoid thing is back... or has it gotten worse... they say people who have mental problems don't know that they have... any psychiatrist can comment on that?

ok... i'm running out of juices... shan't write... got stuff to do today

1. get ties
2. get wallet which i saw tomorrow
3. watch movie with sean
4. wait for sean (if he wans to go to his fren's bdae)
5. quiet time
6. plan what time to do work for the next 2 days

anyway... just remembered...
i hope to be able to collect some watches when i'm able to and i have come up with some watches that i want to get... the tag being the cheapest... haha


tag heuer carrera chronograph

omega railmaster

glashutte original panomaticlunar

bovet sportster chronograph

picturezzz

yesterday... cheryl, me, michelle and jolene met up... wanting to go out and finish up our photography assignments... and for me to recce on a venue for my group's photo essay... so out we went... spent 6 rolls of films between us... and tonnes of pictures... well... only a handful came out nice... as usual... and lots of weird pictures came out too... here are some of the highlights... if you want to see more... its down there in the albums links... "day of lunacy"...


the hungry *ahem* festival came earlier this year


my what small feet you have


how our pioneers came upon these shores...
upon a gigantic "cha kiat"...


glamourous shot


UNglamourous shot


wah!


the paraparapazzi...
edmund chen was at the other side...


the loons


para para at 300,000 beats per minute


like when did she ever not laugh like this?


this is a freeze shot...
the car was frozen during its movement
and michelle has a cold snigger


this is a blurred shot...
we're just all blur


interlude
this is zarina at marine parade cc... same roll of film


jolene the camerawoman
(and birthday girl soon!)


finale...
joanna wasn't around... but we brought a bag of her snot
in remembrance of her... yaar?


these are some of the "decent" ones that i might use for my assignments...

picturezzz

here's how the day went...

1. woke up in the morning... packed my stuff and took the train down to harbourfront to meet cheryl and jolene to go to sentosa... we decided we shall not think about work today and just totally relax... coz the next week will be shitloads of work for all of us... n cher and i want to get a tan... so we bought tanning oil and all... then met jolene and off we went to sentosa...

2. boarded the bus to sentosa... and say alvin and andrew waiting for others also to go to sentosa... coincidence 1...

3. so we got on the bus on sentosa and went to palawan beach.. but the whole place was under construction and all... had to walk all the way to the other side... nearer to sunset watever... so we got down to our swimwear (cher cld coz "the tide is high")... ended up me and jolene hitting the cold water and getting sand all over... had to wash out my arena trunks wif all the fine sand inside... sux...

4. finished up at 1plus... went to shower... discovered long lost tan lines... faint but encouraging! so took my time to clean up and we headed back to mainland...

5. cher met her fren for "along came polly" while me, jolene, zarina and michelle caught "something's gotta give"... hilarious... and sort of sick too... 60 year olds making out on that huge screen... *shudder*... but keanu and amanda peet were gorgeous... absolutely gorgeous...

6. i had some sushi for dinner... then we went to paragon to buy booze and headed over to fort canning... my beer and cher's vodka thingie exploded and i got drenched... had to change t-shirt and all... smelt like beer on the way home...

7. so now i'm all sun burnt... eeks... and here are the pictures from today... cheers!


cheryl making a weird face on the monorail

my punkish hairdo vs the "tornado swept by" look

dun be sad cher, mine does look better

jolene's bday gift from "ahtan"... the multicolored snake

pondering the philosophies of life... at pastamania

jolene's lunch... bacon agliolioliolio


we have never looked better

the darkness

stand in silence
wait
feel the light creep away
from you
let darkness embrace you
caress your very soul

nice design? i think so too... its better than the last one at least... haha... anyway...
ITS NOT FUNNY

all i want is someone to hold in my arms... for a long long time...

seriously... i cannot sit down and do any work... not at this point of time... 2 nights back... i received an email from tania the project group leader... and i started getting short of breath... i was clearly upset... and it was at 1am in the morning... i was already going to bed after talking to sean... but that certainly screwed me up... i guess its me being a brat again... but i'm just quite upset about why we have to do such tedious work when we don't even know whether the direction we are going in is the right one... so i told her i wldnt do it... she wldnt budge... which is how she always is... the truth is i'm partly upset because she did not discuss wif the rest of the group how many surveys we actually need... and neither did we go talk to albert toh about the direction we shud go... which was what we were supposed to do... so now her majesty has decreed we shall go survey 200 people in 3 days and then sit down and write the thing out in a day... ok... if thats what she wants...

but fuck that issue...

i'll just do whatever i want...

my right heel is hurting like mad for the last few days... dunno wats it all about though... cld be some muscle injury or sumthing... but it just started so abruptly so i dunno... its still hurting now... ah fuck it... it will get well by itself... same way the fever came and left... same with the diarrhoea ( i still dunno how to spell this word! )...

actually i'm started to get very disillusioned about the whole church going experience... its all become some form of entertainment for me... in the past i used to get so touched and all... but its getting numb... maybe its due to the whole psychology thing... being too analytical... the whole "give more than you can... let god impress upon you how much to give"... a whole load of bull i say... its bloody uncomfortable to me... i'm still a seeing is believing person... especially after how that fucking bastard lied to me... i dun trust anything that i can't see for myself... maybe this sort of church isnt right for me...

sean baby has been posted to a stay-in camp... guess it will be weekend meetings again... but i dunno whether he'll get posted overseas... if he does... hmm... i dunno... guess its fate then... but its going on so well now... i wldn't want it to end b4 its even gotten started...

phototaking day

was out at carl's fixing his computer due to a DMA error...
then met zarina and cheryl to go experiment with panning shots...
FAILED MISERABLY! the people were sooo blur they disappeared from the photos altogether... but the surrounding was clear... stupid la.. she never teach us properly how to do it anyway...
so we're going to do freeze shots from now on...
anyway... then we went to marine parade cc rooftop terrace...
and had some fun!
afterwhich i met sean baby for dinner with adeline and her friend...
then went to rouge... they had a birthday party for the owner...
had so much fun tonight... esp being with sean baby...
anyway... here are more pictures!

i sure would do!

You are going to marry Camile Velasco!

Which American Idol contestant will you marry?
Brought to you by Quizilla

she's such a babe!!!

Our trip to KaraokeVille

here we are on our way to town...


looking very happy after the
1st and last test...


some less enthusiastic than others...


while some are absolutely ecstatic...

often regretting their sudden outbursts...


but never forgetting to get our fluids...


and to check if everything is in place...


so SING ON MY CHILD!
(though some may disapprove of your pitch)...


try to defend yourself...
but nonetheless
WE CERTAINLY ENJOYED OURSELVES!

FUCKING IDIOT NUMBER 1!

WHAT THE FUCK DID HE WANT!
SPOIL MY PICTURE!!!

FASHION VICTIM NUMERO UNO!

we found him in a fashion boutique later today...
talk about victim man...