are you studying?

you're sitting there at your hand-me-down study desk. wood grained laminate all round, metal drawers and legs. i saw you lugging it home some time back with your mum from the kindergarten when they threw it away. your mum said that it was still rather new and its going to last since its metal and sturdy. you were rather apprehensive when you got it home but it proved its usefulness.

so there you are sitting at it in the afternoon, reading your notes, re-writing them again on the index cards. once in a while you turn to the textbook that you borrowed to look for more information to refer to the terms that are in the notes. i can see you trying very hard to get the information internalised. you've got your first test coming up and its been quite a while since you've studied for a test. well good luck to you there.

i can see you're trying to concentrate, and you're doing it, but your attention span seems to be shorter these days. you used to be able to sit there and mug for your exams. well, that was so long ago. i remember you were sitting on the ground in the other room, where your dad used to sleep. you sat down on the ground with a small table mugging for your O levels. you pulled through for that one didn't you? i guess you should be able to this time round.

i know how hard you want to do well for this course. i know you have so much confidence in yourself this time round. and i saw how disappointed you looked when you just got that "bad" grade last week. it was not that bad. have faith in yourself. you'll get through it.