the dating game

after being lonely and dry for the past few weeks or so... i've decided that i'm going to start daing again... just dating for now... and see how things are... :)

so i went on a date today... after spending almost 4 hrs online chatting since i woke up, khimmy messaged me to go out for tea... seeing that it was almost evening... i suggested dinner instead... so i went out to meet him at around 4 plus at city hall... and we went to stamford cafe for tea first... then i had a craving for subway sandwich again... and we went to buy it for take-away... he thought of it as like... "stuff u eat when u have nothing else to eat"... but his opinion changed while we were munching down on our sandwiches back at his quaint little apartment in the vicinity of hossan leong's... haha

so we had a nice chat at his place... such a cosy place... i met his pet guinea pigs... fuzzy little hamster which was sleeping... thought about redecorating the balcony which was so not being used at all... its such a nice place... n i so think i'm going to make him redecorate... hahaha... but he's a real nice chap... :)

i'm quite happy tonite

my balloon burst!

and the bubble has burst... actually it did last night... i knew it wld explode in my face one day and it so has... it takes just one single needle of loneliness to burst the balloon... kabloooey...

its really pathetic? don't you think? i try and try to just ignore whatever's been bothering me and it all bottles up inside... and now it just explodes and covers everything... i have a bad temper and its getting more difficult to control day by day...

fuck the damn weather.. everytime i want to go out with someone, it gets fucking gloomy... and today i have to help my mum out and no one's free... the fucking sun decides to come out... what's the fuck with that?

fuck sleep... my sleep cycle is all fucked up and i can't fucking be bothered anymore... let it stay fucked up... i'd collapse from exhaustion someday... then again i dun give a fuck anymore...

fuck the money... been waiting so long for the fucking pay to come... and i'm fucking broke now... can't fucking do anything or go anywhere... i should just fuck this country and go live in south africa where i can tan all day and live off tree bark... they're all fucking skinny anyway so i'll fuckin fit right in...

fuck the whole body image shit... what's the fuck with gorgeous men with a beautiful face, a golden tan and rippling muscles? they don't fucking have a brain nor humility or any human qualities that they fucking need to survive... what's the fucking obsession with being fucking beautiful... FUCK THEM ALL! do i have to fucking follow the trend? do i have to fucking look beautiful to be able to succeed in life? fucked up society... who fucking defines fucking beauty anyway?

fuck whatever feelings people have... what's the fucking deal with that? you like someone but you can't say... you fucking hate someone but its not right to express it... you're feeling fucking good because you did something right but somehow some fucking depressing mood comes crashing into your fucking face... all the fucking repression fucking fucked up my fucking emotions... fuck that... i should just fucking have a default mood and that's it... i'll be fucking happy or fucking blue no matter what... who gives a fuck if i'm laughing non stop at a fuckin funeral or fucking moody at someone's wedding... or fucking happy when i fail everything or fucking moody when i get great results...

i think i'm fucked!

quizillaaaa la la la la

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla


Bondage movie! You're into BSDM (Bondage &
Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances
are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses,
and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a
little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby!
What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla


You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

shoppaholic part II

ok.. here's the revised shopping list...

1. CDRW External, Firewire. LaCie still i think...
2. Leather belt, sandals
3. Pay my aunt back for the laptop
4. Sunglasses
5. Protein mix
6. Haircut
7. Sony Ericsson Z600
8. CDs
9. Gym membership
10. New bag

my sis is getting the scanner... so that's settled... i wonder when the pay is going to come in... i'm really broke now... went to ikea with my sis this morning and picked up some yellow
candles for her, a yellow bath towel that i can bring about and an orange weighing scale... its not that accurate... i was 65kg then it became 62.. and just became 60... i think its gone nuts... tat's what you get for $6.90 weighing scale... ha!

anyway, here's the sweet thing of the day...

i was talking to my first bf, ray, on icq... i've been hanging out wif his ex coz we noe each other from pre-u seminar and he's back on holidays... so i juz went to msg him coz we wanted to ask him out for coffee, but didn't in the end... he still remembers all the sweet moments we had while we were together for that short periods of time from years back... the peck i gave him... the morning hug before i went to school... the song that was playing on the radio... i must admit i couldn't really remember those details... he even thought about me when he was in TP and they started the course i am in now... he told me he thought that the course was really good for me... and he even said he's proud that i did well for my exams... and its making me feel real bad... i wasn't good enough to him... i was too young to appreciate all that he did for me... i really wish i could make it up to him some way... i guess i realli was a spoilt brat back then... and poor him has had such a difficult life... if only i had what it took to take care of him... i will do anything to make it up to him...

it just makes me wonder again what i really want... what i should really do with myself... all i can think of now is to get a better life... but shud i focus on that and ignore all the rest? i'm telling myself i should not get into a relationship again because i've really had too much of the hurt and am so tired of going through it again... i know i'm the kind of guy that needs a lot of attention.. i'm an attention seeker... but now i'm not getting much of it from anyone in particular... so i'm just chatting around with people a whole lot to get my mind off everything else... how long can i keep it going on like this? i really wonder...

i've been laying off the drinks for the past few days... i know i shud be cutting down and i'm tryin my best too... i've also been tryin to sleep earlier these days... been wanting to go to the pool but the weather's been crazy.. and when its finally sunny again... i din feel well enuff... feeling feverish and all... it really sux...

i'm thinkin of writing a book... shud i?

!!!

I was on TV!
Barely half a second but... I SAW ME!

Ref: Elite Model Look 2003 on Channel i

my kalur

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

shoppaholic part I

i want to buy so many things! and the pay isn't here yet!
i want to indulge in major retail therapy!
and i want to make lots of money to go for therapy!

shopping list:
1. LaCie external firewire CDRW for junior (about $250)
2. Sony Ericsson Z600 (about $600, after trade in 7210)
3. ClubFITT membership for half a yr ($170)
4. Whey Protein ($100++)
5. Canon LiDE30 flatbed scanner ($200, sis might pay)
6. Adidas sunglasses ($100++)
7. New leather belt (??)
8. New leather sandals (??)
9. Café Del Mar volume 10 ($25)
10. A new haircut (??)

i need money!
and i pray for more scorching sunny days...
coz i wanna get a tan! damnit
not much time left b4 sch starts...
boohooo

skull cracking numbness part II

I HATE RELATIONSHIPS
I HATE CRUSHES
I HATE LIKING SOMEONE
I HATE HAVING TO SHUT UP
I HATE STUPID FEELINGS

skull cracking numbness

as you can hear and see.. i've updated the song... its so much more pleasant now isn't it? i like this song for the longest time... its so soothing... almost like she's singing from heaven now... hallucinations again... haha

was supposed to go for a swim wif my nick today but woke up late... then getting more demoralised when i found out the damn cost of joining the stupid gym... i think i might have to give up that idea... then i'll have more money to play around wif... hahaha... i guess i can learn to live with being a skinny monkey for the rest of my life...

what to do today? sux a whole lot when you've got nothing to do and no one to cuddle up with...

OH YA... the LOTR marathon tickets are all sold out! within the night they were released! damnit! i was so wanting to watch that! guess have to just watch the normal show then...

talking abt dreams... i keep getting these dreams that i have the ability to control nature.. haha... guess it was coz i watched merlin the other day... it wld be nice wld it... everywhere raining but the clouds juz part and a strong warm beam of sunlight comes into my room... then i can tan indoors.. hahahahaha

Results!

I AM SO HAPPY!

Communications and Media Marketing = Distinction
Graphic Design Fundamentals = Distinction
Essential Graphic Software = Distinction
Journalism 1 : Newswriting = B
Media & Society = A

Total Credit Units earned to-date :22 cu

Cumulative Grade Point Average obtained to-date :3.81

Academic Status: PERMITTED TO PROCEED TO THE NEXT SEMESTER OF STUDY.

Schizoid Personality Disorder

According to the DSM IV, symptoms of schizoid personality disorder are a continuous pattern of detachment from social relationships, a very restricted range of expression or emotion in personal or work settings. This usually begins in early adulthood. It is seen in a variety of different contexts.

According to the DSM IV, a person needs to meet four of the following criteria:

- Neither desires or enjoys close relationships, including being part of the family. They almost always choose solitary activities.
- Little or any interest in sexual experiences with individuals. Their pleasures are minimal.
- They clearly lack close friends.
- They are very indifferent to praise or criticism, and have very little affect or response to that.
- They are clearly emotionally cold, aloof and detached.

In order to meet this diagnosis, individuals must not also be suffering from another major Axis I diagnosis such as schizophrenia, or psychotic disorder.

Causes of Schizoid Personality Disorder

There are many theories regarding what contributes to a full blown schizoid personality disorder. These are only theories, and no founded research is available, only speculation. One can draw some conclusions, however. It is clear that traumas in one’s life, in early childhood or adolescence, and family dysfunction may precipitate the onset of social isolation and fear of social interaction. However, there is not one causative factor that has been singled out. One can reasonably assume that personality disorders, including schizoid, is clearly a protective mechanism to protect oneself and one’s ego from being hurt or damaged.

junior denimpants

i got so bored...


click for a larger image

the lennel kueh lapis

LAYER 0NE:
-- Name: lennel tan kian liang
-- Birth date: 20th sep 1980
-- Birthplace: syonan-to
-- Current Location: in my room
-- Eye Color: brown
-- Hair Color: black, brown, bronze
-- Height: 1880mm
-- Righty or Lefty: Rightilicious
-- Zodiac Sign: Virgo

LAYER TWO:

-- The shoes you wore today: nil... coz i din go out of my room
-- Your weakness: my niceness
-- Your fears: loneliness
-- Your perfect pizza: garden veggie from canadian pizza
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: a honda jazz to start off... then an alfa 147... then either mazda rx8/bmw 4 convertible/accord euro-r, finally a porsche 911 before age 50.

LAYER THREE:

-- Your most overused phrase(s) on MSN: k
-- Your thoughts first waking up: that was a fun dream... lemme get back to it
-- Your best physical feature: big teeth... better to EAT red riding hood wif...
-- Your bedtime: have no idea these days... usually artificially induced
-- Your most missed memory: sec sch camps

LAYER FOUR:

-- In love? : more like lack of it

LAYER FIVE:

-- Smoke: swore never to. coz it killed my dad.
-- Cuss: wat is cuss? drink? if it is then hell yea.
-- Sing: king of bedroom karaoke
-- Take a shower everyday: ya
-- Have a crush: yea i do
-- Do you think you've been in love: i could have
-- Want to go to college: eventually perhaps
-- Like(d) high school: lotsa politics
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes
-- Get motion sickness: boat trips yes...
-- Think you're attractive: working on it already! dun stress me out!
-- Think you are a health freak?: working on it already! dun stress me out!
-- Get along with your parent(s): of course
-- Like thunderstorms: yea! to the tune of wagner's ride of the valkyries
-- Play an instrument: recorder? and my voice lor

LAYER SIX:

In the past month...
-- drank alcohol: going to.. had a beer last nite... and a vodka tonic the nite b4...
-- Smoked: never read layer 5 issit?
-- Done a drug: lorezepam before... 11 at one shot... concussed...
-- Had Sex: been there done that and that and that and that and that.
-- Made Out: in need of it
-- Gone on a date: expensive ones too
-- Gone to the mall?: juz yesterday
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: 1 pack yes
-- Eaten sushi: luv the salmon ones... wif wasabi of course
-- Been on stage: was the phantom once... and a mobster... and a effeminate courtier...
-- Been dumped: i do the dumping sista!
-- Gone skating: back in the 1990s i think

LAYER SEVEN:

Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: yea.. strip poker
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: i hold my drinks well. but i did go without sleep for 3 days nonstop and started dancing on a table top at east coast.. or was tat soemone else...
-- been caught "doing something": looking at porn.. yea i did
-- Been called a tease: dun have be called one... i am
-- Got beaten up: nope, but sure wld like to beat someone up
-- Shoplifted: will this come back to haunt me?
-- Changed who you were to fit in: i dun change..i adapt...

LAYER EIGHT:

-- Age you hope to be married: before 35... but if i find someone that is...
-- Numbers and Names of Children: a son and a daughter... Lennel Jr! and Lilith!
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: quiet ceremony wif close family during sunset at soneva gili
-- How do you want to die: in my sleep. then cremated in my porsche.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: wat! i have to grow up!?


LAYER NINE:

In the opposite sex
-- Best eye color? blue? haha.. but anything goes
-- Best hair color?: anything wld do.
-- Short or long hair: long hair
-- Height: NOT TALLER than me
-- Best weight: no underweight... a little fleshy is fine
-- Best articles of clothing: anything comfy
-- Best first date location: under the stars and moon by the beach
-- Best first kiss location: under the stars and moon by the beach

LAYER TEN:

-- # of drugs taken illegaly: 1 melatonin pill last nite
-- # of people I could trust with my life: oooh tough question... i guess i dun trust anyone
-- # of CDs that I own: about 70 at last count...
-- # of tattoos: zelo
-- # of scars on my body: plenty... wif 4 prominent ones on my right leg...
-- # of birthmarks: dun think so...
-- # of things in my past that i regret: plenty

energy cola

damn! its so cold this morning... and now afternoon... its so freezing cold... and i'm not talking about air conditioning... its just too freaking cold... but heck... i'm drinking the new energy cola... its so sweet... i love the can though... and i din have much a lunch jjust now.. mum bought rice wif chicken wing, potatoes and braised egg... and it sucked... the stall's standards are dropping like dom deluise out of a plane at 30000ft...

was watching some bits of charmed, ranma and then CSI:miami on cable just now... CSI never fails to amaze me with their scripted intelligence... hahaha...

so here i am drinking cola and eating a ham and cheese bun my aunt bought... i am very bored... i just replied the email to the office with regards to the pages... i hope they process the payments before they go overseas... i need the money!... now i have no idea what i'm going to do for the rest of the day...

thought: am i happy? or am i just forcing myself to be? what will happen one day when the bubble bursts?

do you hear that?

there's a cricket in my room.... yes you read it right... a cricket... and its been chirping for the past 2 nights... it makes the room sound like the wilderness... and its also chirping now... chirp chirp chirp... it chirps when its dark... its in the storeroom i think... its so noisy...

anyway... i got new trunks!... was out with tania juz now.. she went to get quotes for her tattoo... and i went shopping for trunks!... tania chose it for me... hahaha... anyway... i got a pair of arena trunks with this little line of black mesh running down the back... haha... its grey and yellow in colour... haha... i was so tempted to buy more swimming trunks... the aussiebum ones and the ones at RE- were damn nice too... maybe after i start having more flesh to fill them up... in the mean time... these will do fine...

i am so wanting to get in shape now...

shacked out

i have problems sleeping again... i dunno if its due to the position of the bed... or just my mind working overtime all the time... i am trying to keep awake now to see if i can fall asleep on my own later tonight... its been real tiring today... last night slept at around 3am, after tossing around for almost 2 hours... woke up at 645 this morning and went to sch... had to be usher and tour guide for some sec 3 and 4 kids for this "business experience" event... was alright i guess... interesting stuff... then came home... got some muslim nasi... ate and here i am...

the project is getting bigger and bigger... have uploaded the whole bulk last night... emailed the office about some stuff but the email bounced back and i only just found out about the error... smsed cousin lynne to check if they got the email from me... i hope they do... and i hope they process the payment asap... if not i'll have to go to school to do scanning for the next bulk of the project...

i hope this will be a long term thing so i can make some pocket money out of it... its also good to hone in on my web design stuff... i think my work is still too amateurish... i need to get it up to standard... if i want to work in advertising/marketing in the future...

when i get my pay.. i'll have to get a firewire cd writer, scanner, watch, games, swimming trunks, gym membership, stuff to gain mass with... but then i'll need someone to guide me... haha... but that's another issue altogether... and another time

page design

for those who are using macs, pls use safari if u have it... looks better on it
it works on IE too but the stupid google ad covers my title.... sux...

for PC users... i think it works on IE... but i dunno abt the rest of the browsers...
lemme know if you know how to get around the google ad thing... thanks!

*phew*

been dreamweaving for the past few days... trying to complete the club KOSÉ web project i'm doing for my cousin... i think its not up to standard still but i'll have to wait for their comments and input... but since i'm all inspired and "layer-ised"... i thought i'd just update my blog design too... so here it is in all its glory... the latest version... did it for 5 straight hours... not too shabby... i like it...

anyway, have not been updating my blog recently so here's an update of what's happened from friday till today...

friday... uneventful... spent most parts of the day doing the project... nothing else...

saturday... was supposed to meet up with daryl... but he cancelled on me... then met up with james for dinner at city hall... had subway sandwich... i love the roast beef sandwich... anyway.. then he had to leave at 730 coz he had 1 guest at home waiting for him... met up with caiying to pass her the birthday present i got for her... luckily she loved it... but i think she's under lots of stress coz she's breaking out! but i din say tat to her... not wanting to go home... i smsed sean... we agreed to meet up for drinks... but he had to cancel at the last minute too coz something happened... i must remember to ask him what happened coz it seemed rather important... something to do with hospital... din wan to ask then coz he was rushing... think i'll call him up later tonight to see what's going on...

was supposed to go base station shopping wif tania but she din have the cash for that... so that's postponed... there was a group outing for TPAJ but it was cancelled in the end... din intend to go coz nick wasn't going either... so stayed home instead... watched nemo in the morning wif mum and sis... then we lent it to my uncle to bring it to the family gathering... the little cousins have yet to watch it...

so here i am at home now... blogging and all... was reading the papers about moblogging... with PDAs and HPs and stuff... i think i'll stick to this.. its better... i wonder what i will do for the rest of the night... i think i might go novena for dinner... that should be ok...

quizzzzz

and the cycle goes on... got this from ness' page...

1.Have you ever been in love?
i think i have and am

2.How do you know it's love?
when you can't spend a waking moment without thinking of that person
when you can't do something without thinking of that person
when all you want to do is be with that person
when you're willing to do anything and everything to see that person smile
you just know

3.What makes you fall in love?
*flashing images of the two of you at HDB applying for a flat*
a great personality... and feeling absolutely comfortable when i'm close to that person

4.What if your girlfriend/boyfriend is a bad kisser?
being a bad kisser doesn't mean anything... its only a plus pt if u kiss well

5.What turns you on (at 1st sight)?
a great smile... but not turning on in a sexual way hor

6.Are you the jealous type?
i can be at times... depends on the situation

7.Body or brains?
brains... the body goes when you hit 40...

8.Do looks matter?
first impressions do count, i have to admit.. but at the end of the day.. looks do fade. ;)

9.What turns you off?
over possessiveness... and B.O.

10.The perfect date?
seafood dinner at soneva gili...

11.What do you have that will make a person fall for u?
the great virgoan trait of altruism... i think

12.Do you still believe in courtship?
eh... i guess so...

13.Flowers or chocolates?
roses are red, violets are blue, chocolates are sweet, and so are you (both can?)

14.Kiss on the first date?
a peck on the forehead...

15.Sex on the first date?
no la... too fast

16.What would you do if you find out that your girlfriend/ boyfriend is cheating on you?
i will want to know the reason why

17.Have you ever cheated on someone?
well i did once...but it was coz i was feeling too lonely

18.Fling or long term relationship?
if the right one comes along... i will go for long term

19.What do you think of holding hands in public?
so i dun get lost... n its alwez so nice to be in touch

20.What do you think of kissing in public?
caaaan... why not? as long as its not slobbering wif sound effects

21.What if your girlfriend/boyfriend is a smoker?
non-smoker is a pre-requisite

22.Ever fell in love with a friend of the same sex?
looong story.. and a sad one too... but tats the past

23. What would a girl/guy have to do to win your heart?
eh... depends on how i'm feeling

24. would you answer this survey?
Ya

25. would anyone answer this?
Yes

26. do you want your friends to send this back to you?
juz reply on the shoutbox or make comments :)

I believe in a thing called love!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
THE HOTTEST BAND OF THE MOMENT!
THE DARKNESS!!!

Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel

Touching you, touching me
Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my hart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh!

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everything is A.OK!

Touching you, touching me
Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my hart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh! Guitar!

Touching you, touching me
Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my hart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh!

high?

ok... was working on the project the whole day that my eyes were so tired...
met up wif tania, sarah, jolene, alvin and andrew to go to Harry's @ Esplanade...
mr Toh was supposed to come but he forgot... till we called him...
have put up the pictures on shutterfly... juz like everyone else... so
now you can view the pictures on shutterfly instead...

harry's was alright... music was not bad... they had this paul ponnudarai fella
who played a mean guitar and sang quite well... i think i'll go back more often...

tried a dry martini.. which sucked... wonder how james bond can like it at all...
had a macallan 12yo malt whiskey... was alright... i think i'll stick to brandys
and whiskeys from now on... prefer the familiar taste of whiskey...

anyway... tomoro i'll ahve to work on the pages again... must get it done by
saturday so i have time to finetune everything... sux doesnt it? but its all about
the money... its all about the dum dum dee dee dum dum

oh did i mention tania took sarah and andrew's cherries tonight? now you know...
hahahaha
we were so high and making so many jokes...
and the menu has "blow job" and "slippery nipple" under the "sharp shooters"...
then there's also "brain haemorrhage"... u get the picture...

pictures

let see... the day was boring as usual... nothing special at all...
went to see my cousin again for the project that i'm doing...
picked up lots of stuff and cd-roms to facilitate my designing...
i guess i'll be pretty well versed in ladies' cosmetics by the end
of this project...

anyway.. the batteries finally got charged and i've uploaded the
neoprints onto my shutterfly acct... you can access it on the
left side... the "my family" link...
my mouth looks big in these pictures... sux doesnt it...

will be taking more pictures tomorrow nite... coz we're going
to Harry's @ Esplanade... these will probably have my coloured
hair.. hahaha...

cardiac arrest

tell me how you can have one
tell me to just fade away
to fade into silence
into the dark
into the dreamless sleep
that one craves so much

are there other ways?
ways to go in peace
in violence
in pain
in silence

knife thru your heart?
slit your wrist?
swallow a few pills
or
just go to sleep

this never made sense
life never did
i never did
i will never
ever
know what is sense

a crushing feeling in the chest
a pain from the back
down your left arm
shortness of breath
pains
unconscious
gone

i wan i wan i wan

i wan this phone!


such a beauty isn't it? i alwez had a soft spot for clamshell phones...
and for nokia's interface... and a radio... and a camera... and this one
has everything i wanted in it! the "8" keypad design looks very auspicious too...
Sorry Z600... u've been beaten this time...

anyway... charging the batteries for my camera... i'll probably take some
pictures of the hair later on... have not had colour on my hair ever... so this
is a world first... plus the neoprint that me and my sis took... have to
get that one up too...

anyhoo... boring day... i managed to sleep a little more today... should
be alright with the sleep cycle now... doing nothing but tweaking the
blog today...i wonder who will ask me out today.. haha... i guess no one
as usual... its raining anyway... and i'm spending too much money already...
havent even made the money yet and i'm already spending...

today is nessa's hatchday.. so everyone sms her and say happy barfdae...
i have a feeling she's going to eat alot again! hahahaahaha

organising a pvt get together... those who have received their invitations...do
reply alrite? i've already gotten some replies so far... will see how the thing
goes... shud i bring my polaroid along? or juz the digicam... see how la
haha...

life has been alright in singleville... prob coz i'm juz keeping myself busy
all the time.. its been good... havent been drinking that much either...

my hair still smells of that special scented oil from the hairdye... not that
bad anyway... sweet smelling... if only the color was lighter... and more
uniform... it might look better...

oh... my sis was telling me that we should start writing our christmas
wishlist... and so i shall... and i know i'm going to have to be the one to
fulfil the list... hahaha... shall make money money money...

1) swatch watch.. the oversized one...
2) mega gym membership
3) EFFECTIVE oil control facial wash
4) real sandalwood and a nice burner for it
5) nokia 7200 (this i shall get for myself nxt yr)
6) external cd writer
7) usb scanner
8) new digicam (smaller one)
9) new pair of jeans... the sort wif a chain
10) crystal tumblers for my whiskey.. hahaha


ou are SLIGHTLY antisocial! While you definitely
enjoy spending time with friends--you have
plenty of them--you have an introverted side as
well! No need to worry about that, though! In
fact, you are a very good middle man/middle
woman: you are comfortable both spending time
with friends and spending time alone! While it
may sometimes seem like everyone expects you to
be a social butterfly, it is important to take
some time off occasionally and get to know
yourself too!

hair

I DYED MY HAIR!
haha
its not damn obvious...
got blonde and ended up wif like a bronze tint...
maybe i'll get some pics taken some day...

fantasy

woke up at 1pm today... sherman stinkypoo (my new nickname
for my little cutie cousin) was here with his dad... ate a little
lazed around and then went to town to my sis...

decided not to get a haircut afterall.. coz mum and sis tot that
it wasnt long and we all wanted to try me out with a longer
hairdo... so left it as it is... went shopping with sister...
got someone a birthday present... lots of birthdays this
month... got some sushi and brownies from taka basement 2...
got a guerlain parfum sampler (thru a tv ad)... got my
intersection magazine coz there wasnt any GT on sale anywhere...
got my sis a book as an advance christmas present... then went
to take neoprints... my hair makes me look so nerdy... and 1
particular picture makes my mouth look huge... will wait for
my sis to go get it scanned then upload it online...

anyway... was just watching central.. and they were showing
the afro cuban allstars documentary...so this thingie popped into
my mind...

sun is setting... nothing to do... play an ibrahim ferrer/ruben
gonzalez album... take the hand of my gf/wife and just do a slow
dance till the sun sets... juz enjoying dancing with her... spending
a beautiful night together...

zippedydooda

ok.. i'm home... its 3:05am on sunday morning...
those who know me... i'm seldom up this late...
and i certainly would not be online at this hour...
but since i am now sleeping in the other room...
things have changed...

anyway... the show was great... save for the audio
problem that happened twice during the show...
but sound can be edited anyway...

highlights of the day:
1) great lunch at long beach seafood restaurant
2) got my own pass "Crew"
3) got to see so many famous beautiful people
4) singapore's zhang manlu din win
5) the bitchy switzerland contestant din win
6) the bitchy swiss contestant pushed manlu
7) saw rebecca tan, david wu, ashley scott, glenn goei,
and a whole bunch of beautiful model people...
8) a nice paycheck... bwahahahaha

anyway.. i'll update more tomro.... goin to bed
and getting a new haircut! hahaha

*yawn*

la di da
its the morning again... saturday morning...
will have to go to work soon... meeting tania at
raffles city at 11... then lunch wif the crew at
some restaurant... free lunch can be good too...
but i have a feeling its all going to be chicken
and vegetables... haha.. but never mind... i
don't need much food to survive... just plenty
of water... eating tau hway now... and that
always reminds me of lectures by ms chuah...
*shudder*

anyway for those who don't know... which is the
bulk of you guys anyway... i'm doing a camera
assistant thingie at the ELITE MODELSEARCH...
really cool event to be at and finally see how
everything is done behind the scenes... the dirt
behind the glamour... but i'll talk about it more
in tomorrow's blog after the whole thing is over
since there isn't much i can talk about now...

i am going to get a nice haircut after i get my
pay... probably tomorrow... wonder should i get
my hair coloured...or shud i get that lee blue
look-alike hairdo... or andy lau's in infernal affairs...
love the show... anyway... tats been decided...
haircut...

then after i make more money... i'll definitely want
to sign up for gym membership... probably get
nick to go sign up with me... then have to spend
money on a new pair of swimming trunks... and all
those weight gainers... if i don't want to spend
money on anyone else... i'll spend it on me... its about
time this virgo got selfish for once... hahaha

urgh my legs are itching...

50 Qns

Message: These are the 50 ways to know the person's
character and understand the person well,
although it is quite waste of time, but when you
feel free just try it out!

1. What's your name?
Lennel Tan

2. How old are you?
23 (can never say this without feeling lousy)

3. Do you have any nickname?
ah boi, ah gong, lennie, len len, brother lennie, bamboo...

4. When is your first love?
primary school...

5. First kiss?
cant remember...

6. How tall are you?
1.88m (wish i was a little bit shorter)

7. How many girl/boyfriends have u had?
2 gf and 4 bf

8. Sour, spicy or sweet?
all 3 but not at the same time...

9. What would you do when you are free?
chat on irc, do blogstuff, listen to music, watch tv, sleep.

10. Hobbies?
nil...

11. Do you club?
don't like it

12. Favourite magazine?
Car, GT, Autocar Asean, Lookbook for Men, WorldOfWatches

13. Are you a smoker?
Will never

14. Are you drinker?
My only vice

15. How much money will you bring when you are
out?
little.. coz i'm alwez broke

16. Car, diamond or money?
Car

17. What phone are you holding now?
Nokia 7210

18. Coffeebean or starbucks?
Bucks

19. Where do you stay?
The little hamlet of gloucester

20. What is your favourite food?
my mum's salted veggie and duck soup

21. How many siblings do you have?
Younger sis

22. Chocolate, Sweet or cake?
sweet chocolate cake

23. Can your ears move?
a little

24. Do you dye your hair?
want to

25. What languages do you speak?
english, mandarin, teochew, vulgar

26. How many phones in your house?
3 line phones and 2 active handphones and 2 inactive handphones...

27. How many toilets?
2

28. When you are doing your business in the toilet what would you do?
read magazines

29. Do you swim?
yes

30. Do you gamble?
as in play gambling related games? yes...

31. What is your favourite sport?
Rally racing

32. Love,techno or classcial?
love

33. What is your favourite drink?
brandy/whiskey

34. What is your temper? Low, middle or high?
volatile

35. What kind of person you are?
volatile

36. What would you wear when you go to bed?
tees n shorts

37. What is the 1st thing u do when you wake up?
go back to sleep

38. Do you eat breakfast?
depends

39. Favourite tv show?
Automotor un sports tv, The osbournes, MTV Cribs

40. Who you want to meet?
Maggie Cheung and Lisa from "Are you hot?"

41. What type of person you are?
one you don't want as an enemy

42. Where do you like to go?
to bed

43. Do you wear specs?
no

44. When is your birthday?
20th sept

45. Do you buy branded goods?
i would if i could

46. How many hours do you spent talking on phone with someone?
dont really talk alot on the phone...

48. If a guy or a lady want to know you as a
friend, would you give your number to them?
depends on how hot they are

49. Do you watched R(a) movies?
i watched "about schmidt" and say kathy bates' sagging boobs *shudder*

50. One night stand?
yea yea... when i was a hotblooded youngster

inner child

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

guess even my inner child is older than the others...

the end of the beginning of the end

k.. finally the exams are over...
paper was alrite except he was real vague in phrasing
the qns... dunno what to explain and write... so just
keep writing hoping to hit the 3 marks per question...
and a total of 30 qns... wrote 10 pages... some just
wrote about 5 sentences for 1 qn but i wrote half a
page... crazy... just hope i get a high A for this and
if possible, beat that fella... bwahahaha

gave ness her bdae present... she smsed me to say
she tot it was sweet *phew*... but somehow she was
still gloomy.. hope she's alright...

supposed to play tennis today... ness, tania, sarah, alvin
and andrew... but it just kept on raining and raining and
raining... so we cancelled... went to marine parade and
played pool... NONE of us could win alvin... and andrew
was good too... i was the worst of the group...

then met jolene, cheryl and michelle to go marche for
dinner at suntec... wanted to go drink but only tania
and i wanted to so we just had a beer with dinner... will
go somewhere again next week...

well the exams have ended.. and i'm supposed to be happy
but somehow i am not... partly becoz i juz dunno wat to do
with no school... i'd rather be mugging and studying...2nd
reason is i saw the lying bastard... just ruined my entire
evening, day... it just totally upset me... plus the melatonin
i had last nite to get to sleep... tat gave me an upset stomach
so here i am lying on my bed feeling miserable and ill...
i just want to go somewhere and disappear...

my turn...

First Name: Lennel

Were you named after anyone? Not that I know of.
But lennel is a place in scotland... meaning great place around the river bend or sumthing...

Do you wish on stars? used to

Which finger is your favourite? middle finger...

Do you like your handwriting? no...

What is your favourite lunch meat? beef pastrami

Any bad habits? drinking

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
i guess i could listen to my own problems...

Are you a daredevil? i want to be a carrera cup racer...

Have you ever told a secret you promised not to tell? nope. coz i forget stuff

Do looks matter? guess it does...

Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? yes

Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
i've seen the end of rainbows... nothing but water

Do fishes have feelings? they love my mum.

Are you trendy? i'm eclectic.

How do you release anger? drink or throw furniture around... but that's a rare occurence

Where are your second homes? school...

What was your favourite toy as a child? my teddy bear... which i still have...

What class in school do you think is totally useless? plenty

Have you ever been on radio or television? radio... once in primary sch for choir...
2nd time on a gameshow... tv... as audience

Do you keep a journal? u're looking at it...

Do you use sarcasm a lot? i am the self proclaimed bitch king...

Have you ever been in a mosh pit? does it have to do with deodorants??

What do you look for in a guy/girl? girl: long hair, great personality, ability to laugh, brains...
guy: hot body! haha and a brain...

What are your nicknames? lennie, ah boi, ah gong, len len

Would you bungee? when i'm drunk...

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? they're oversized so i juz slip out...

What are you worried about right now? $ $ $

Do you ever wear overalls? dun have...

Do you think that you are strong? i've been to hell and back

What's your favourite ice cream flavour? rocky road...

What are your favourite colour/s? black, white, gray, earth tones, red

What is your least favourite thing in the world? poverty and hate...

How many wisdom teeth do you have? 4... they're on their way to becoming tusks...

Are you in love with anyone? perhaps

How many people have a crush on you right now? 3 guys and no girl

Who do you miss most right now? me at childhood

room wif a view

studying a little for ess gra exam....
took a break and took 2 pics of the view frm my room
its a very clear night...





lousy pics... but gives u an idea how the wind comes into my room
haha

dae 2 2dae

today was the 2nd paper for my exams... marketing...
was out studying wif ness and marilyn at tanglin mall yesterday...
was there from 11 till around 4... juz sat there and went thru notes...
ate a pastrami sandwich, cup of camomile tea, a peach snapple and a baked potato...
and went broke... ha!

marilyn really does her work well... when she went on about the stuff she studied, it
was so scary... coz there were so much that i din know... that shows how effective
my study method is... sux big time...

then we went to cocoa tree to buy chocolates for cheryl... who is celebrating
her berfdae today... poor girl has been suffering becoz of her leg... so thought
it'd be nice to cheer her up a little... so we got assortment of chocolates wif cute
cartoony prints... haha

then marilyn went for her lesson... kept ness company till she went to meet her
dad... then i started my walk home...

now abt today...
my head was still blank before the exams... sucks i tell u... scary feeling...
but the paper was relatively alright... stuff tat i remembered came out...
just lots of application and linking stuff together... i think its passable...
but since the qns are so easy... i have a feeling that we'll be marked
very strictly... well.. pray for the best then...

ness sed ms chuah told her tat there are only 3 As for the exams... 3...
how much possibility that I could be one of the 3? zilch i think... considering
that i already have 2 section B questions wrong... and my nonsensical
rantings cant possibly be called proper essay answers... hahaha

but i have no idea why i'm so darn tired today... nothing strenuous... except
for the brain... and my appetite is so so... just want to laze now... i'll try to
read thru for pagemaker tomoro... i MUST get an A for ess gra... a HIGH A
to be exact... i cannot lose to that bugger too much... although he's won a
little for the coursework.. this exam may be the answer to BEATING him...

but for tonight... i shall relax...

A2Z

A- Age: ripe old age of 23.
B- Boyfriend: had and hated.
C- Chore you hate: boiling water.
D- Dads name: tan koon huat.
E- Essential make up item: lip balm.
F- Favourite Star: maggie cheung.
G- Gold or silver: Sliver.
H- Hometown: Singapore.
I- Instruments you play: my voice.
J- Job : Student.
K- Kids: a son and a pair of twin daughter perhaps.
L- Living arrangements: With my mum, sis and aunt.
M- Mom's name: evelyn lim.
N- Number of people you've slept with: ask me in private.
O- Overnight hospital stays: zilch.
P- Phobia: loneliness.
Q- Quote you like: have you danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.
R- Regular drink: boiled water.
S- Sports: will take up squash, swimming and gymming after this yr.
T- Time you wake up: between 9 till 12
U- Unique habit: nothing is really unique... sing alot?
V- Vegetable you refuse to eat: broccoli, spinach, yucky stuff
W- Worst habit: being a nag
X- X-rays uve had: 1.. for ns...
Y- Yummy food you make: bruschetta and spaghetti wif mushrooms and chicken...
Z- Zodiac sign: virgo

quizillaaaaa

Everywhere you go, you know what you're doing and
people can't stop to take notice. You're into
what's groovy and different. You're the Funky
Style type of Gay Guy.


What type of gay guy are You?



Your Heart is Black

What Color is Your Heart?