update

just woke up...
mum is out working coz its pre renovation cleaning up at her workplace...
sis is about to go to work...
aunt is missing as usual...
just thought i'd update a little here...
now the posts are colour coded...
whytes are for daily posts like these...
blacks are for storyes that i wryte...
lyght grey are for lyrycs that i lyke...
easy?
and if your system is too dim to read, just highlight the text...

Don't let the sun go down on me

All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

Too late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can't find, oh the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal

Absolut Subconscious

had one of those "real" dreams again. had this real upsetting situation whereby i just got real upset and started throwing furniture around again, not caring whether i injure anyone or not... the strangest part that i remember is someone saying to me "who needs help?" in the dream... strange isn't it?

anyway, went out wif ame, bin, isk and amin again yesterday... and we took a neoprint... here it is

clockwise... me, iskandar, bin, amin and ame...

finally...

ok the tests are finally over... yesterday's was shitty... sucks... hell...but today's was fine... am actually quite confident that i'll do alright for this one...

tonight is the mars thingie... was looking around all over the place for a red planet in the sky but all i managed to see is this star that's bigger than the normal...

was out with bin, isk and ame at raffles city... then went to peninsula plaza... then we walked to the merlion and sat there for a while... then walked to china square for dessert... then walked to chinatown for transport home... tired now...

anyway i closed my other blog... decided to keep this one and move all my writings here... moved "are you studying", "you" and "first puff" over... leave comments on what you think ya?

first puff

you sat in the room with a guy and a girl. all of you were exhausted, giddy from all the alcohol running through your veins. the room was damp and musky from the smell of whiskey. the dark red walls and drapes made the room darker than it already was. it was already night. it was 3am.

you sank into the beanbag. you stared at the girl. you stared at her wavy hair, streaks of brown and blonde. you stare at her smokey eyes. you stare at her red lips, redder than the walls. you stare at her neck. she's pale. she saw you staring. she hugged a plush cushion to her breasts and drew her legs back. she leaned back into the bed.

he took a cigarette out of the drawer. he lit it with his silver zippo. he drew a deep, long breath. he closed his eyes. he slowly exhaled through his nostrils. he ran his slender fingers through his hair. he propped himself against the bed with his left arm. he bent his right leg up and rested his arm on it. the cigarette ash fell of the end.

you got up and reached for his cigarette. you ran your finger along the back of his hand and took the cigarette. you took a puff. your first. you choked and coughed. you took another puff. you dragged it. you closed your eyes. you turned around and sat between them. you slowly let the smoke creep out from you. you handed the cigarette to her. you placed both your hands on your stomach.

she took it. she took a quick puff and returned it to him. she put the cushion down.

he reached over and took the cigarette back. he took one last puff and then snuffed it out. he rested his left arm on the bed and placed his right on your hands. he played with your hair. you just kept your eyes closed. she laid her head on the stack of hands. she just laid there with her eyes closed. you started to play with her hair. you ran your fingers through. you rubbed strands of her hair between your fingers. you took a deep breath to take it in the scent in the air. he laid his head on your right shoulder.

tbc

are you studying?

you're sitting there at your hand-me-down study desk. wood grained laminate all round, metal drawers and legs. i saw you lugging it home some time back with your mum from the kindergarten when they threw it away. your mum said that it was still rather new and its going to last since its metal and sturdy. you were rather apprehensive when you got it home but it proved its usefulness.

so there you are sitting at it in the afternoon, reading your notes, re-writing them again on the index cards. once in a while you turn to the textbook that you borrowed to look for more information to refer to the terms that are in the notes. i can see you trying very hard to get the information internalised. you've got your first test coming up and its been quite a while since you've studied for a test. well good luck to you there.

i can see you're trying to concentrate, and you're doing it, but your attention span seems to be shorter these days. you used to be able to sit there and mug for your exams. well, that was so long ago. i remember you were sitting on the ground in the other room, where your dad used to sleep. you sat down on the ground with a small table mugging for your O levels. you pulled through for that one didn't you? i guess you should be able to this time round.

i know how hard you want to do well for this course. i know you have so much confidence in yourself this time round. and i saw how disappointed you looked when you just got that "bad" grade last week. it was not that bad. have faith in yourself. you'll get through it.

you.

you didn't think you're the emotional or sensitive kind of person.
you remember you used to be.
you often told people that you cried at charlotte's web, everytime you watched it.
you used that to prove you're sensitive.
you just watched boomtown.
you felt the pain that joel felt.
you even thought you'd know how he felt when he saw his wife in the pool of blood.
you saw how sad monica and chandler were when they found out they could not have babies.
you felt saddened by the news too.
you remember how you sad you got when you had a fight with your ex boyfriend.
you remember the anguish you felt when you smashed your head or hand on the floor just to get his attention.
you know you feel all those emotions then and now.
you can control and repress all that.
you used to be able to let it all out and felt better.
you used to cry.
you used to know how to.
you know you need to cry now because you need it.
you need the release.
you need to have closure.
you remember how you felt about the past.
you have never been hurt so badly before.
you have never had to deal with this bad a situation.
you feel crushed.
you feel fragile.
you feel so much pain and anguish.
you cannot let it go, no matter how much you try.
you know you have to let it go no matter what.
you need to.
you just let the words all flow out now.
you. you. you.
you think its all about you.
you remember how he used to blame it all on you.
you remember how selfish he was to you.
you remember all you did to fixed things.
you cannot fix this.
you just cannot do it.
you. you. all about you.

quizilla time!

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Which [Seven Dwarfs] are you?


Which [5 Elements] are you?


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Which [Rainbow Colours] are you?

alternative mind

hey peeps.
just to let you know that i'm getting inspired these days to write again.
you can find all my "new" writings at
dance with the devil

been mugging for media and society today. went thru the text book and the notes and wrote them again. tomoro is journo test. will have to wake up early and read through the journo stuff again before getting lunched and go to school. wish me luck...

so fucking screwed

tried to study for journalism today... went thru all the notes and re-wrote them on nice index cards, hoping the stuff will get into my head... but the day went as such...

got up late... logged on to check mail... moped arnd... decided to go to sim lim to get printer ink catridges... got the original epson colour catridge at 31 bucks and some oem black ink catridge at 17 bucks coz couldn't find the correct sepom refills coz they never state properly on the ugly packaging...

got home had lunch...
watched tv...
mum wanted to trim my hair so i let her trim the sides and back... got all itchy and stuff...
showered...
sat down a while... started to write the notes...
sherman came to visit mummy... the usual pensive mood he is in... shy little boy...
finally started at 5...
had dinner at 7...
watched "feng yun" on channel 8 while writing the 2nd part of the notes...
wrote wrote wrote...
voila. finished.
and now i'm here writing my blog...

btw i started another blog to write short stories and poetry... when i have the inspiration...
dance with the devil

woe

i got a B+ for my logo design for graphics design fundamentals... u might think that's not too shabby, but i was expecting something like an A since its not that difficult to score. sad sad sad...

suffering the usual side effects of melatonin today... the group was seperated coz nessa overslept and didn't come for lecture... so did junbin... so did ame... so that leaves me and marilyn... so i was left alone to juz laze around till lunchtime when i met bin and ame at tampines for lunch at dairy queen... was a little depressed coz i was tired from carrying junior and standing for almost an hr waiting for the gurls...

watching the advert for the wedding banquet... i so want to watch it... but my wallet is so empty... have to go get printer catridge refills tomorrow... and also shopping for my birthday present that baby is getting for me...

having a headache now... giving baby a call now...

cheers!

reichen and chip won the amazing race! whoopee!

edge of sanity

seems like i need the melatonin to help me sleep better... been off it for a week or 2 already but the problem is i cannot seem to get enough rest again... will have to start on it again.. never mind the depression... with or without it, i'll get depressed anyway...

talking about depression... i have no idea why i'm having mood swings and all these days... becoming more erratic and uncontrollable in the moods department... also saying things and behaving like a lunatic...maybe its the company i'm in... or the desperate need to fit in... i don't want to have the schizoid disorder thing come back or i'll just shut in again... but i can see some of the signs coming on... running home once school is over... shutting off from others when i can... being extremely conscious of what those around me think of me... ooh a relapse!

eyes are so tired by evening time... could it be that i'm getting a little shortsighted? but my eyesight is still fine... can still read the extremely fine prints...

need to get the damn desktop cleared off and "re-design" the working environment... probably do it tomorrow night or something... then will do some serious mugging over the weekend for journalism and medsoc... must really score for the mid term tests... time to bring on the bullshitting again...

One of those days

I love this song... One Of Those Days by Whitney Houston

Na, na, na, na, na
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Oh, oh Lord.
This is just for me. (Hello, hello)
Mmm. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my. (Laughs)

Kick off my shoes and relax my feet
Hit the kitchen grab my bite to eat
Now it's been one of those crazy weeks
And I gotta do something special for me

See, hit the salon get a mani and a pedi
Have a massage, have a sip and then I'm ready
Gotta take time out (time out)
And my real ladies know what I'm talking about... sing

Oooooooh, baby baby
You dont know what I've been going through
Sing it again now. Oooooooh, baby baby
It's obvious to see exactly what I need

One of those days
When the sun is shining bright
And my life is going right
And the simple things are not wasted

One of those days
When you're cruising in your car
And you like to see the stars
And it's warm outside and beautiful, yeah

Tonight, it's all about me
Just wanna set my body free (body free)
Nevermind the TV
Tonight I'll just let a little TV watch me
Light the candles, aroma therapy
Hot tub bubbles surrounding me
Mr. Big is in the background
The Isley Brothers gonna hold it down... sing

Chorus

Hello (7x)
I need one of those days
You don't know
Ooh, ooh, ooh

Chorus

(Adlibs. Laughs.)

zombie-d

dragged myself to sch today after sleepless nite...
was sleeping for a while.. then woken up by mummy coz she was resting on my mattress while sis' laptop occupied where my mum's mattress is supposed to be... then suddenly had this horrible tummyache... prob due to the prawn noodle and red wine i had...then when i tried to get back to sleep... couldn't coz the tv was too noisy... got agitated and so din sleep tat well...

well lecture today was boring as usual...selvie spoke of the test next week... i'll study for them during the weekend... guess that's when i can sit myself down to do something... need to get the textbook and do some reading...

started on freehand mx for lessons today... had to do some grasping here and there but the basic functions are quite easy to understand... will have to play more with it to understand better...

lazing on my mattress now, chatting wif aron and baby... on irc and sms respectively... think i wun get any work done tonight... the gurls asked me to go karaoke tomorrow after sch... will have to go to hello shop to get the old line terminated first... 10 bucks to go sing and 2 drinks... will decide tomoro...

my fave quote

have you ever danced by the devil in the pale moonlight...

swing

mood swingy day again... was supposed to sit down and start writing my article for my media and society group project but cannot seem to settle down and get reading... feeling very very agitated with everything around me... the mess that i sleep in, the rubbish that i have to throw out... the dust on my table... just everything... i just want to throw everything out and forget that anything ever existed at all... have to go settle the old desktop and get it out as soon as possible... have to clear out my drawers again... have to mop the floor and change the bedsheets... hate hate hate...

quizilla again

been reading aron's posts and he seems to take the coolest quizzes, so i'm doing it too... heh





Find your Role-Playing
Stereotype at mutedfaith.com.


You are a.. GEEK! You love fantasy, Everquest,
games, possibly have emo-ish tendencies, and
you know enough about computers to rival Bill
Gates. Ph33r your 3433t haxx0r skillZ!


The Subculture Label Quiz
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raindrops keep falling on my head

ran with a brolly to get my mum at around 1110pm just now... the rain was so damn heavy and the wind was so freaking strong... i actually stopped by the wind and tried to walk against it... the wind stronger than in taiwan... and it was so damn cold i was chattering the whole way... found my mum all drenched coz her foldable brolly flipped in the strong wind and she got all wet while trying to re-open it...

anyway, i was so cold and excited that i started laughing hysterically! more like a psychotic adrenalin rush... which brings me to think that my emotions are getting screwed again... more often i'm getting these wild emotional swings... its most probably that i have been suppressing them too much... especially from the last relationship... i mean i told myself i've gotten over it, but it still hurts too much... i mean how the hell would you feel if you got lied to for 2 whole years and there is not final resolution... i just could not accept his reasons, and refuse to... i'll just have to deal with it harder than...

anyway, finally got junior his keyboard cover... got the cheaper 29bucks one instead of the 35buck iskin... works just as well... its lighter so there's a prob of it flying off if the wind gets too strong...

baby was so nice to offer to get me a cd writer from iomega for me, but i just cannot let her coz its too ex... bsides i can use my sister's laptop to burn stuff... so i gotta think of a new birthday wish list... and here goes...

1) new side sling bag, preferably in leather or those fake leather stuff.. but saw this canvas one from project shop in red that i pretty much like (matches my handphone)
2) anything from porsche (told my sis she can go take a look and find a cheap sweater, keychain or t-shirt)
3) rayban aviator sunglasses... silver rimmed with gradient tats coffee colored on top and fades to clear downwards...
4) ibook screen protector and ibook trackpad protector
5) porsche carrera 4s cabriolet model 1:18 scale
6) nice t-shirts (for school)
7) a new watch (swatch nabab or diesel square faced with leather strap).. but last choice coz i'm superstitious about pple buying watches or clocks...

so if you're reading and you want to get me something, that's food for thought...

feva!

listening to michael buble's rendition of feva now... i say he's fantastic! at least until the day he starts doing those poppy songs, which i doubt he would...

if you read the straits times from wednesday, about the andrea t-shirt, you'd know what i'm going to talk about next... after reading the article, i emailed the entrepreneurial fellas and ordered a t-shirt... going to have to send the money to them (via po box, very secretive ya) and then hopefully they'll send the t-shirt to me as soon as possible... its going to be in light blue... think it should look pretty ok... have to save up 10 bucks to pay for that... hmm...

little girlies in class have been commenting about my non-shaving these days, so i went to buy the disposable shavers just now after lunch with ame and bin bin... dirt cheap... 10 for 1.99! bargain bargain... knowing the sort of quality they are, that will encourage me to use the aftershave lotion i won during one of the lucky dips while i was still working at starhub...

anyway, i have decided on what article to do for my journalism 2nd individual assignment... if he wants a "hard" article... i'll write about family communication breakdown, who is to blame! blame blame blame! he had better give me an A for this one... i'll make it a kablam, in his face, harder than a viagra induced "morning glory" story... bah!

another long day tomorrow... probably will have a little picnic at the reservoir... damn... need to interview 5 people... will try to do a few tonight... online perhaps... stupid group assignment for journalism again...

think i'll let my hair grow out a little more and get a layered cut once its long enough... don't want another short hairdo where its going to be so "NS"-sey... time to get out of that look and phase... horrors of horrors if i became like that...

while having lunch at the mcdonalds just now with ame and bin, overheard this store manager trying to please this little primary school kid who seemed to have complained about the service in the store or the food thing... my gdness... such a little asshole! wanted to smack that fucked up smirk off his face! he'll be the bane of customer service officers in singapore very very soon... but looking at him, with his abnormally developed brain, he'll probably have NO childhood, be sad, depressive, and kill himself one day... ha!

cocktail wif cognac

i still can't get over the fact i got a c+ for my stupid journo assignment. although aron sed Cs are common for selvie's classes, i still dun like the sight of a c on my transcript... my group aims to ace the next group assignment...

anyway, having cocktail with cognac in soda. quite fun. most probably will have diarrhoea tomorrow morning... means i have to wake up earlier to go to the loo... haha...

i seem to have a shorter attention span, less energy to work, less inspiration since the last few days... i have stopped eating the melatonin and the mood seems to be fine now... probably need an outing somewhere to get my batteries recharged... but wif all the stupid assignments piling up again, don't know when i'll be free to go out for a walk... maybe friday i'll go to the park by the school for some quiet time...

found out there are tests coming up on the 26th and 27th for journo and med. society... worried worried worried... don't know what to study about... have to start cramming already... will start mugging for the tests next week... this week will finish up watever assignments there are for now... have to finish the journo and medsoc assignment stuff first...

back to school is so stressful...

a miserable C+!

damn that selvie!
i got a miserable C+ for my journalism assignment!
plus we have got 2 more assignments to do!

the reason for my outbreak might probably be due to my melatonin intake last night. getting all depressive and all. lousy day i suppose... last lesson for pagemaker today, rather boring and all. since my pagemaker still cannot work so there's nothing for me to practice on at home...

anyway, got home after a long day to find a porsche letter. seem like now i'm on their mailing list. how nice of them. lovely newsletter called Pinnacle. feel so exclusive now...

anyway i have got to start writing for my media and soc articles by this week... tomoro they'll be discussing who does which article.... i'll probably write the history section... since my age is closer to the ancients of rock...

sunday visit

went to visit my dad's ashes today at the temple this morning wif mummy... sis din come along coz she had to work... while waiting for the cab, saw some of dad's old frens whom i saw when i was a kid...then this thought came to my mind "when did dad usually go for his haircut?".. then the whole "didn't learn from dad how to drive" thing came back again... regrets... i had a few... da da da da... da da da...

anyway, prayed at the temple... then took mum to take the train... didn't talk much... took the train from bishan down to dhoby ghaut then up to farrer park... went to the aquarium to see fishes... and saw clownfish for sale... and also tat "dory" sort of fish... sad to see that they are in tanks, not the open sea...

then practically lazed the day away... did a new wallpaper for my desktop, inspired by the thong this model was wearing on the cover of lookbook men magazine... rather psychedelic... but hate the pixelation caused by stretching the basic design... had to manually do touch up...

tomoro have to print my mkting journal and notes and the design fundamentals write up... printer ink at home is already depleted.... darn cheap catridges, so little ink, have to buy refills... stupid sepom catridges...lessons till late again... boring selvie

for the record, i love tom and jerry. i think its one of the better cartoons around... esp the newer ones...

tummy filled

ok.. the pizza finally arrived at 730pm... ordered a garden veggie and hawaiian... ate the whole garden veggie and left the hawaiian for sis... hope she's hungry when she gets back...

and heeeeere's JUNIOR!

and his trusty sidekick, "the mouse"...


the fireworks show was pretty decent... took some photos but most are quite pathetic, considering the pathetic camera that i have... i shall show 2 only...

pizza pizza wherefore art thou o pizza

woke up at 12 in the afternoon today... lazed arnd home, watched tv... did some re-filing of notes and stuff. watched plenty of tv... had a glass of vodka tonic in the afternoon while watching spongebob... HUNGRY now... waiting for my pizzas to come.... a bit expensive to pay yes, but its to fill the stomach. and that's one thing i dun spare expenses on...where are my pizzas!?!?!

quite quite true

*~ What kind of dreamer are you? ~*
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yummy

watched metropolis on AXN last night coz we din finish watching it on DVD when we loaded it from my cousin the last time. very very good show i must say. ended up waking this morning all sleepy and left eye twitching as usual...tat happens when i'm sleep deprived...

attended mr D's lecture today. surprised i din fall asleep... gel-ed up my hair this morning coz my hair was in a mess... wore the good old blue and grey rugby thingie coz i tot i was goin to meet baby straight after school... after lecture ended, decided to come home first... so i went off instead of attending the stupid CCN games thing organised by the year 2s... which i expect wld be rather miserable, considering the response...

so i went over and got my baby then came home... waited for mummy and sis to come home before deciding where to eat... mummy was a little tired so we ended up at newton hawker centre to have my sis' favourite food... sambal stingray and chilli cockles... so we ordered up a storm... got the 2 stuff, plus kang kong... "orh lua", satay and juices... baby and i paid for the dinner...

so after dinner we walked home, went past autobahn to look at the nice cars... saw a few nice old convertibles and a very well maintained red mini which looked like a real good buy... maybe one day...

so we juz stayed home and watched tv the night... sent baby off to get a cab a few minutes before this... rather comfortable night...

happy happy joy joy

ok life is back to normal. its confirmed that melatonin causes a side effect on me. mild depression. didn't take it to get to sleep last night and today i was less depressive. good. means i have tonnes of melatonin left over. bad.

today is mum's birthday, so sis and i went to get a nice mango cake and KFC for dinner. surprised her by lighting the candle and stuff outside first then brought it in and sing song. tomorrow, will bring mum out for dinner also. still not sure where to bring her. was thinking of normal "tze char", korean food at the heeren or seafood at turf city. anyway, here's a picture here...


got my singnet space working so now i can put images there for linking to the blogsite... geocities sucks at that. also added a comment link. so you better make comments!

homework wise, all's fine so far. hope to finish my mkting journal, fine tune the individual logo and finish the group logo tonight. everything's due next week, but at least there was time to finish in between. thank gdness...

tomoro's national day eve. having some CCN activity in school. will probably be disappearing after the marketing lecture. lecture ends at 10 and the stupid games start at 1. plenty of time to disappear. they'll take attendance but i don't think anyone will give a damn. classes in the evening have been cancelled anyway. if they dare to make it seem that we are absent from our classes, its going to cause a whole lot of hoo hah... damn the lousy organisation...

pretty pretty colours

Pink:
You see the world in bright pink. The world is a
happy, happy place! You love all people and
things!! Life is great! You're just like a
happy child. Spread the cheer.

Made by
Sara


What color do you see the world in?
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swing baby swing

ok... i think i'm having slight mood swings again...

feeling real blue all of a sudden... din even feel like talking at all... spacing out during lunch and class... don't know why i'm like this all of a sudden... pms? haha... its juz sort of depressing how life is at this point... broke, stressed, don't know how life will turn out in the future... sad sad sad...
think i'll have a little drink later on...

aiyo so farny

went to school for ess gra lecture by berty this morning.

farny fella... did this card trick before class started, then pretended that he cldnt guess the "mystery" card. then at the end of the lecture, he flashed the answer on his presentation file. i have a feel he can remember the order that the cards flashed before him when he shuffled the cards. but anyway, pretty cool trick.

then he told us his life story, which was very interesting. to me at least. 2 ex wives and all, fancy jobs here and there. he doesnt look the 40+ that he is now, looks more life mid 30s. wonder if he spends money on maintenance. hahaha.

then met up wif the group to "do"some work. which failed miserably coz we didn't do anything constructive. couldn't even come up with a logo for the group ess gra assignment. will have to start typing the history and society sections for the med soc group assignment. have to finish the individual logo project soon also. or else have to submit the prototypes. yuks.

still feeling rather blue these days. just don't know why... getting very irritable also... think i'll go sleep now.

huh?

You should be dating a Pisces.
19 February - 20 March
Your mate is loving and caring, trusting and
hospitable, and romantic. Though he/she can be
self-pitying, temperamental or dependent, the
fishes are quite romantic in bed.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
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pagemaker pagemaker pagemaker

started out just another ordinary day...
had only milo and crackers for breakfast coz forgot to buy breakfast during weekend...

bought a loaf of bread from the poor auntie who limps around every week selling bread... i feel great sympathy for such old folks... don't they have children who can take care of them in their old age? i sure am going to take care of my mum later on....

selvie's lesson ended earlier today coz we were like monkeys at a shakespearean play... so restless and bored that he let us off an hour early....

went to mensa canteen and got beef noodle for lunch, which sucked coz it was filled with veggies and is so salty, the dead sea is bland...

went for berty's ess gra lesson. started tutorial for pagemaker, something that i haven't tried out before. still can't install my copy on jr coz the stupid serial number seems to be wrong. or it cld be the stupid software is corrupted... will have to wait for someone to lend me a copy... i hope aron remembers to borrow... will prob go sch to burn filemaker pro and freehand mx... wonder if tat works... plugins for pagemaker din work in class so we got off 1 hr early... went to jup cafe and had roast beef and turkey combo sandwich, which wasn't so bad... really broke now...

selvie's tutorial then...submitted the IWA 1, got a burden off my head... did the GWA 1 in class... wrote abt 669 words while the others wrote arnd 400 words... i think i write too much most of the time...

got home ate leftover chicken and duck from yesterday's rituals... watched cribs on MTV wif shaggy's pad being showcased... he was a marine? can't imagine tat... luv his cars though... sl500, range rover and ferrari 360 modena... gorgeous babies... but he's got something about nude black women paintings all over his house... yurks...

shall juz surf a little, copy 1 or 2 more cds into jr to listen to in sch tomoro... doing project work... watch friends later before going to sleep... hope berty has put up the notes online already... need to print before going to class tomoro morning...

dreamzzz

went for a nap just now from about 6 till 730. had this dream. can't remember most of it but once i woke up, i only remembered that i composed this beautiful tune in the dream. i even tried to hum it out to remember it but like any other dreams, i forgot it once i stepped out of the room. but the tune was so so peaceful and beautiful. maybe 1 day i'll hear it again.

i have a feeling i'm going downhill these days. no matter how long i rest, i'll still be very tired. not that i'm not having enuff sleep. wif the melatonin, i usually sleep arnd 10plus - 11 at night and wake up close to 8 the next morning. memory is failing, easily agitated. cld it be the melatonin?

lazy sunday afternoon

just another typical sunday afternoon. did the usual 7th lunar month prayer thingie to the ancestors, with the usual chicken, fruits and ducks ensemble. have been copying some cds onto jr so that i can listen to the cds without having to lug all the cds around. so far have copied the cafe del mar series and am doing the chill brazil compilation now. have decided not to use jr for downloading of music and stuff coz limewire really sucks, with all the registration and crap. trying to find an older version of ircle so that i can use the cracked password on it. hopefully can find it. got a whole lot of icons from xicon yesterday so am using some of them on the desktop.

i was thinking, maybe i'll be a good habit for me to have a "drink" while doing any long periods of writing on jr. like some people who have to have coffee or a cigarette while working, i'll have a nice whiskey soda. sounds fun!

babbling away again...

post shopping

went to town with my baby. got photoshop 7 for mac. and it works. good. then went to ripcurl and got junior a case. nice and blue case with the logo in front. then got a mouse from funan centre. pretty cool. maybe one day when i decide to get the digital camera attached to the mac or maybe get a compact flash reader for the mac, then i'll post some pictures here.

converted my twelve v.5 website into a photo gallery so that i will post pictures there from now on.

i find that my memory is failing me real fast. i can't seem to remember who i am these days. not even what i like or not. haha.

frustration

feeling very miserable today for no apparent reason. probably woke up on the wrong corner of the only side of my flat miserable mattress on the cold hard ground. stupid table that i'm supposed to work from is all cluttered with unimportant stuff. hate that.

had a very interesting dream last night. i dreamt i was struck down by lightning. felt like a big stuffed hammer struck on my head. i dreamt i went unconscious but i could still tell myself i will not die and just stood back up. strange isn't it?

nessa is doing an article on schizoid disorder, just because i told her i was diagnosed with it by the shrink before. then she started to research and listed out all the symptoms, which now just seems very very true. never really noticed what a classic example of a mental disorder i was. i wonder if i was cured at all.

meeting up with baby later on. going to get her friend a birthday present, then i'll send her to the venue for the dinner. i don't want to stay for the dinner so i'll just come home and do my journalism and marketing assignments. sucks sucks sucks.

lightheaded

was supposed to have posted this yesterday night but blogger had an error...

took junior to school again to do project. never knew that the power drains so quickly with the airport card on. the so claimed "5.5hr battery life" doesnt work. the longest today was probably for about 3 hours.

had a pop quiz in lecture today. so so fun. although the questions were dirt easy with the answer in the notes, still had to refer. mr D. made reference to economic terms that i remember i learnt but i just can't recall. brain washed. fun.

then in soon soon's class today, we did a personal logo. here's mine:

soon soon said " hey clever. well done!" head in the clouds.. hahahaha

must remember to turn twelve v.5 into the picture gallery. hopefully the picture link works. tomorrow probably going to get junior a case. wonder if the pirated cd shop has got photoshop 7 for mac. installed from joanna's cd photoshop 6 that is like ancient and runs on mac os 9.2. sucks. then dinner might join baby at her ex classmate's birthday dinner. probably will be shopping for his gift tomorrow afternoon.