sick

i'm still full of phelgm...
i'm sick of this blog layout... (i will change it over this holiday)
i'm sick of lousy shows on tv...
i'm sick of hearing the clicking sound on my old rotary phone when it reacts to my mum picking up the phone in the other room to call and nag at my sister...
i'm sick of sleeping in this corner of the room and having to draw the curtains every morning coz the sun will shine in and shine on me...


well anyway... i'm sick of watching movies critically... its so tiring and so scary when you have to focus on a damn movie which contains a handful of your greatest fears... well i watched cast away today... that tom hanks flick where he talks to his ball...
it contains
1. plane crash
2. vast expanse of dark water
3. heights
4. tight confined spaces
5. possibility of dying alone
how scary can it be?

i wonder how i'll be able to cramp all the stuff i have to study for bmr in 3 days...

oh and my mum let the birdie go...

and my 2nd roll of b/w film ever has been sent for developing... its special so it takes 3 days to develop... i hope its done by today or tmrw... i waan to seee them... then i wan to plan a photography outing...

and the singapore idol tv advert looks scary...

and i want to get a medium format camera...

after i spend all my money pulling out all my wisdom teeth...

i'm sick of being poor...

news update

!!newsflash!!

my mum juz caught a bird and its in a cage in the kitchen.
muther sed she saved it cuz it cldnt fly and she wuz afraid the big bad crows will attack it.
professional opinion is that the bird is suffering from shock.
more updates on news 5 tonight.

"sowing the seeds of luv... the seeds of luv..."

i'm still on medication... yesterday was spent popping panadol / amoxil / fenfedrine / dhasedyl / britalin in between floating in and out of sleep... and breaking out in sweat while sleeping... my left and right nostrils are taking turns to get blocked up... my ears are blocked... i'm supersensitive to light... feel like a vampyre wif a flu... feels like there's this clump of phlegm perpetually stuck in my throat... cant get it out... was supposed to clear out my room this weekend but i guess its postponed again... bah... my right-winged wisdom teeth have decided to join in the festivities by rubbing incessantly against my mouth and giving me the mother of all ulcers there... if i din have my meds... i'd probably be super frustrated...

while waiting for my haircut on thursday night... i looked at the mirror and realised i'm getting skinnier... yes that's theoretically impossible but it looks as if its happening... lose anymore and i'll look like a somalian... and i really didn't care much about it... i'm a workaholic now... after months of singlehood and forced labour... i'm like that...

mwamee its ovahhh

finally... all the projects (curriculum wise) are overrrrrr... and i have no idea what i'm going to do tonite... went to the doctors though... got flu medication... gonna get all buzzed up yea... hahahha... i'm a workaholic... or i'm juz finding the lowest excuse to use the computer... so yea... that's the picture i juz did... my ass hurts... too skinny... tmrw sports day... i juz hope i'm well enuff to run around... i'll be drowsy though... haha... wheeee...

got a B for BMR... it was an A... i could see the A underneath the B... i think its just because of the references! lost an A because of that! grrrrrrrrr... i shall not confront and squeeze it out of him... its not worth it... dunno how i'll do this semester... quite worried esp for this BMR exam... its a hell load to memorise...

finished my term paper for film yesterday... played lost in translation on repeat mode... over and over and over again... "for relaxing times, make it suntory time"... he said that line 3 times... twice during the video shoot for the commercial... once in the bar to scarlett johansson and the waiter also join him...

"like a flowerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... waiting to bloom... like a lightbulb... in a darkened room... i'm juz sitting here waiting for u to come on home..... and turn me onnnnnn... like the desert.... waiting for the raaaaaain... like a schoolkid... waiting for the spring.... i'm juz sitting here waiting for u.... to come on home..." and turn me on.....

- guru norah jones"

i am old

i swear i'm old...

my back aches and my legs ache... and my sleep cycle is all crazy... i am so old... hahahaha

i shud start exercising... maybe start cycling and swimming soon...

post birthday

well i received greetings from quite a few people... some unexpected ones too... started off well with sms and online msgs... then came the hugs in class today... allowed myself $50 budget to spend on frivolous things today to celebrate... haha...

so after school... jolene and i went to buy film... i bought 2 rolls of black and white T-Max 400 film... supposed to be professional b/w film... cheap enough... hope to have some fun with them... saw so many nice cameras... anyone rich enough to buy me a hasselblad 501CW camera? its going 2nd hand at peninsula.....

we then went to the Singapore Art Museum to "get cultured"... i still have terrence's free museum pass... saw tan swie hian artworks... one's called "the idiot"... i liked that one... then we saw ju ming scultures... and these strange plastic DNA strings.. and decapitated teddy bears... go see... its fun... they gave a nice pink sticker... that was so nice... i've got it stuck on my pda case now... i cant live without my pda these days... oh and she got me a book as a present... kinda dumped it on me at the bus stop... literally... haha

went over to cafe iguana for drinks... was supposed to meet joanna there... jolene went to the loo and took a long time... there i was playing my pda games... then suddenly a cake appeared and a huge happy sunflower... birthday surprise 2004... hahaha so nice of them... of course took pictures of those... then sarah joined us... ate... gossiped... since i was within budget... paid for the food then left together... the gurls went on a bus and i hopped on a cab home...

so it was a nice birthday... nice n warm n cosy...

did i mention i'm falling in love more?

artificial intelligence

From: lina01@jobstreet.com

Dear Kian Liang, Lennel,

I notice your birthday is coming up on 20 September 2004.

Here is a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY from all of us at JobStreet.com, and we wish you many many happy returns! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Thank you for being a JobStreet.com member and we wish you all the best in your career and a great year ahead.

Best regards,
LiNa, JobStreet.com

P.S. If 20 September 1980 is not your birthday, please change this information in your resume. Always remember to update your resume with new contact details, new skills, etc.

i am a pile of worms

feel so lazy today... woke up past noon... had lunch... wanted to shift my furniture around because we didn't get to do it last week... but i am feeling so lethargic right now i dun even wan to leave my bed... i'm just bumming today... i think tomorrow i'll start on my film paper... today is just lazing lazing lazing...

today i'll juz be trash and laze and watch mtv the whole day... hahaha

waiting for my sis to come home...

Lennel, you're like Donna

The girl next door? Not exactly. Like Donna, you've got a feisty and independent spirit. You're no shrinking violet. If somebody's giving you a hard time or stepping out of line, you're not afraid to stand up for yourself and tell it like it is. A competitive character, you can keep up with the boys, no problem.

Don't get us wrong. With your no-nonsense approach also comes a sharp sense of humor and a sexy edge. Your brains and brawn only make you that much more alluring to your fans. So keep matching wits and wills with the rest of the gang. You're sure to bring on the laughs and the good times. Groovy!


Lennel, the right design for you shows off your Low-Key Lifestyle

Don't worry, be happy. What a perfect philosophy for an easygoing individual like you who takes life as it comes. Huge midterm? Hot date? No problem. You take life one step at a time without stressing out or drawing too much attention to yourself.

So when it comes to decorating, your room should reflect your laidback and leisurely approach to life. Leave the uptight dust ruffles and lace curtains to other folks. You should go for accents like a papasan chair, a colorful mix of quartet candles, or a cozy cotton knit throw. Just be sure to look for things that will make your room as comfortable and inviting as you are.

we cld build a factory... and make misery...

hammered out 3 film journals today... starsky and hutch / pulp fiction and romeo and juliet... din noe wat i was writing half of the time... coz it was too much for my brain to process at one shot...

mum and sis had an arguement... sis stormed out... then i received smses that included some stuff about me... and that really made things miserable... i have no idea how to handle things at home anymore... i shud juz find somewhere to hide whenever i can... i cannot do anything coz i had no ability to change anything...

helpless?

yea.

its not your fault

she's not oblivious.

so here's what i have to say.

you don't have to be sorry for anything. coz its not your fault that i felt the way i do and i feel the way i do now.

and don't feel bad about the way i'm feeling. no one will hate you for what you did not do. i don't.

all i'm concerned with is that you are still happy.

coz that's what liking someone is about.

doing anything and everything to keep someone happy.

so please don't waste your tears on this.

to know you're crying for this only makes it hurt more.

smile.



You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh
And I can't sing
I'm finding it hard
To do anything

You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew
What I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

You came along
Just like a song
And brightened my day
Who'd of believed that
You are a part of a dream
Now it all seems
Light years away

i shall stop waiting for love part I

yea... that's my decision for now... i shall stop waiting for the chance to express my feelings for that someone... i will not waste my time on these stupid feelings that i harbour because its just not the time and place for it... AND DON'T COME ON MSN AND LECTURE ME ABOUT CONCENTRATING ON MY CAREER (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)...

its not the wait that made me decide to stop... its just the case that i just don't feel enough... i was sitting in lecture today when it just dawned upon me that i don't love anyone enough to really mean what i say...

i will get attached because i am lonely and need someone to depend on... someone to feel for and someone to feel for me... not love someone enough to want to spend the rest of my life with... that's how i feel now... i guess the horrifying experiences in the past 2 years or so that i've had with the guys (whom i actualli had feelings for) made me this jaded...

and i cant communicate my feelings enough for that person to notice... or that she's just oblivious to it all... doesn't matter anyway... i'm not going to try anymore...

i have no idea whether its better to be attached or to be single... they both have their pros... and plenty more cons... its just that the grass will always be greener on the other side.. especially when u see happy attached people around... but we never see them quarreling do we? (except when a certain anime parasite isn't clinging to her beng*stick)...

ah well...

bye.

i shall stop waiting for love part II

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	mysterious
Your hugs are...	friendly
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	irresistable
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	hypnotising
Your love is...	eternal
Quiz created with MemeGen!

i don't know why i keep having images of me getting hurt real bad and ending up in the hospital for the past weeks... its like i'm waiting for something bad to happen to me... or that i might do something... haha... but don't worry i won't kill myself yet... i havent owned my first porsche... unless u count the one on my table... but that one cant move... but its still a porsche...

i like you

oh this is so cute!
http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/ilike.html


anyway... MULTICAM IS OVER!
NO MORE MULTICAM!
woooohooooooo

today was the last shoot for group project... and it was a mind numbing, skull cracking, pee-in-pants inducing one... why? coz the last group overshot... well so did we... but i had course manager and 2 lecturers staring me down from behind... and the shots weren't working out as expected... as usual... so i had to play by ear... i should never expect things to go as they were visualised... anyway no more multicam so heck about it! hahahaha but i am so stressed by it... i thikn i'll age 2 years tonight...

anyway... i still think i talk too much... i am such a big mouth nowadays... i seriously need to get depressive and shut up more... that way i'll like myself better... ok i dun need to get depressive... but be more mindful of wat i say... and do... and imply... and i hate my tendency to get boastful... i hate that so much... slap me or shout at me when i do that please... i mean it... i need some tough love...

ref: bitchy blog post on AGM
jolene and i were walking out of the maclab towards the canteen... and bossy lady was standing there... so i juz smiled out of courtesy... bossy lady smiled to jolene... then she turned to me... and her smile disappear faster than you can spell B.I.T.C.H.

shameless self promotion

The Virgo man is not a outright romantic. He is practical and self disciplined. His love is unselfish. He seeks quality rather than quantity in love. He seeks a decent, honest and genuine relationship. Once he finds such a relationship, it's permanent as he would go to any extent of sacrifices to make it so. He takes care of material and emotional needs of his family well. They are very possessive and also very loyal. He is very neat and tidy person and cannot tolerate untidiness. He is hard working and well dressed. He will make a responsible father and implements discipline with his children.

come and talk to me...

What are you waiting for
'Cuz I can see you passing every day and I'm always wanting more
Come and talk to me
What are you gonna do
'Cuz I can't seem to get the nerve to get off my own ass
And come and talk to you

-keri noble, "talk to me"


i had a dream and i held hands with that someone i like... and we walked together in view of everyone... and she didn't draw her hand away... does that mean something? or is it just me again...

anyway... been bz bz bz... panicking... stoning... trying to get rolling again... saturday morning was sports day heats... then went to eat chicken pie with jolene... walked around till my feet ached... then came home... took a nap.. woke up and banged my multicam assignment out... shall use this proposal for my grp assignment as well... takes some thinking out...

today was spent doing my kose work... coz monday and tuesday are going to be multicam days again... then its film after film after film to work out the journals for friday's submission... thursday is going to be "stone home and watch films" day...

then have to try and finish the audio group project on friday... so sat and sun will be spent on film paper... max 12 pages... sounds like a good deal...

i feel myself getting weaker and weaker and thinner...

i'm going to vanish soon.

so is f.r.i.e.n.d.s.

bye.

picturezzz

here's what happens when you leave ur hp lying around (and jolene is sitting next to you)

multicam day

i hearby declare thursday 9th september 2004 as international multicam day.

agenda for the day
1) do cgs / background transparency
2) make arrangements for cg to be up
3) make arrangements to borrow backdrop
4) confirm time slot for loading cg
5) go school and load cg, check lighting requirements, OHP requirement, Camera 4 limitations (and SKIP accompanying my mum to the hospital for checkup)
6) rush down to orangedot to borrow organza for backdrop
7) come home and transcribe song
8) plan shots
9) eat my first meal for the day
10) sleep

she will be loved

lennel
n. a boy, particularly a pretty one.
"Man, that lennel is pretty!"
www.surrealist.co.uk

listening to that song now in the pubs room... waiting for lecture to start... and i have not seen anyone around for the time being...

just now the bus i boarded was empty... super empty... like me and the driver... double decker... and he drove like petter solberg... really fast... and i got to school in record time...

last nite i tried to go to bed before 12... but my head was bubbling with thoughts... mutlicam... radio... film... everything was floating like a decomposing head in a cauldron of chicken broth... absolutely disgusting... so i went to check on my pda phonebook entries... i ended up sleeping at 1 plus as usual... with the help of melatonin...

and i woke up wif sneezes and an itchy nose...

radio later... gotta talk about makan... since its 1-2pm... lunchtime for some people... "the hungry hour, satisfying your craving for good food and great music" i havent run this by sharon yet... gotta ask her later...

group project for multicam crashed again... the rappers cldnt make it... so we're sourcing for alternatives... i'm gonna ask khimmy if he wants to do it... then i'll need a dancer... chinese dancer preferably... coz its a hakka song mixed with electronic music... i like it a lot... i wonder how others will feel... "alterAsians"

what if you were...

let's have some fun...

WHAT IF YOU WERE A DICTATOR!

qn 1: what's the first thing you would decree?
miniature lie detectors to be embedded (discreetly) into the forehead. you tell a lie, your forehead will explode.

qn 2: if you had 3 secret assassinations (courtesy of your secret service), who would you kill and why?
i. william hung. i've had enough.
ii. osama bin laden. i've had enough.
iii.

qn 3: name a special holiday.
national porsche day. everyone gets a ride.

qn 4: who will you pit yourself against?
russell crowe. celebrity deathmatch. but i'll have a shotgun while he can wear his gladiator loincloth.

qn: will you be a benevolent or evil leader?
benevolently evil.

qn 5: what is your preferred method of execution? (be as detailed as you can be)
this is my personal favourite. dig a hole in between the railway tracks, deep enough to cover half the body. drive a stake into the ground. bury the lower body into the hole and tie the upper body to the stake. facing the train. kablaam.

qn 6: who would you like to extradite to your country (for whatever reason possible)?
santa claus. if he doesnt give me presents everyday, pls ref to qn 5.

qn 7: who will you make your king/queen?
monica bellucci.

qn 8: how many years will you rule?
a bazillion years.

qn 9: which company/s will you takeover for your country?
LVMH. Porsche. Audi. Apple. i love everything they do.

qn 10: who will succeed you?
Lord Lennel the 2nd. (clone)

the palmist

i had to wake up early to go with my mum to meet a palmist who had some stuff to pass to her... so there we were... early hours of the morning (10am is still early) at bedok... so my mum sed... since i was there already (its no coincidence... i think my mum is very cunning).. i might as well get a reading done... so i reluctantly agreed...

well... wat she said was both encouraging and discouraging...

1. i had bad gastric problem... needs medical attention (that one everyone can figure)

2. i'll have eye problems... (i have perfect eyesight... but its a great excuse to get my mum to chip in for my new pair of specs)

3. i'll have an accident with my legs... (which i did... scars on my right leg and an aching knee cap on the left)...

4. i'll have a "management" job... which allows me to travel (whoopeee)

5. i'll marry late... and it will not be a happy marriage (first one expected... 2nd one.. hopefully not)

6. i can study (ok...)

7. i get lead on easily by others... (that i already know)

8. i'll have money but they'll end up all over the place... (and its not sure where...)

9. my current sleeping position is bad for me... which means i'll have to rearrange my bedroom very very soon...

well there's more to go... she's going to write out an entire list of suggestions and i'll have to go and collect it this week... well whether to believe it or not... i'm not sure.. but i sure would like to have a management position that allows me to travel... maybe i'll injure my eyes by looking at too many fine prints in contracts?

i want

i want a pair of brown specs

and i want these slippers


anyone know where i can get them???


spent the day LAZING around the house... watched tv... played my need for speed:underground again and again to get past this stupid stage... my right heel hurts... i'm having strange tension headaches again... and i downloaded (almost) the entire love actually soundtrack... and downloaded all their wallpapers from loveactually.com... edited them and its on a slideshow loop on my screen now... oh i love that show...

i'm getting really fed up when i'm at home... mum nags non stop about my sister and that bf of hers... i almost want to walk out of the room whenever she starts talking about it... but i cant... so i juz shut up and play my game or watch tv...

i need a life...

la

i've got tired feet

da bitch

yes da bitch is in da house y'all

today we had to attend the business school annual general meeting... so me, jolene, tania, sharon and faith attended it... to receive our fancy little certificates and all... yea...

so all the IG bigwigs (presidents and committees) were sitting down there... minding our own business, chatting amongst ourselves... then this woman comes up to the front, turns on the mic and starts talking to us...

being more important than anyone else there... we just continued talking until we heard

"I'M NOT GOING TO START UNTIL I GET COMPLETE SILENCE"

and we were like "WOAH GURL D'YA KNOW WHO YA TALKIN TO?" of course we just thought that way instead of drowning that bitch with our spit...

and she went on to "brief" us about how we were all going "receive" our certificates... like she was queen of the morons... commanding us like some hoity toity bitchamazoo...

"MOVE IN AN ANTI-CLOCKWISE FASHION. I DON'T WANT ANY NOISE WHEN YOU'RE MOVING"

project coordinator schmacinator....

jolene said to me "her pants are not flattering at all." i said "she does have big hips"

so here's my tips for that bitch

Kiss our asses, not talk like you want to kick them. You'll need us one day bitch.
Everything you did tonight IRKED us all. Just who do you think you are? The queen?
Loose pants that are tight around your hips just doesnt flatter you at all.
Leave those "intellectual" specs at home. You look like a bitch from every angle tonight.
You should really consider paying us to forgive you soon.

YA READ MUH LIPS NOW BITCH?

did i mention her name?

wooooh

visit check 9978...
another 22 and i'll hit my 10,000th visitor...

shud i throw confetti?

what?

horoscope: you have to shut off the world for the next few days...

yes maybe i should... coz its seriously bogging me down at the moment... i can't even seem to laugh at a sitcom... seriously seriously bogged... i cant even think proper... what to do... no idea... just work work work and maybe crash over the weekend... the comfort binge... then vomit... then play ps2 the whole day... then eat and vomit some more... no i am not bulimic... not yet... i dun need to lose weight... but i do have extremely low self esteem... oh crap... i have got a birthday dinner on sunday... that means eating in public... which will be scary... took mummy out for dinner today at crystal jade... nice dinner... mummy liked the food... maybe will go again next month... or drag her to eat nasi padang... going to get more work tomorrow... edited stop press online for selvie coz ms chuah is on leave... he wans "nxt day" delivery... crap... i have no idea wat i want for multicam again... i am so tired of thinking about it... do i have to be director again? i'd rather have joanna do it while i fm or did camera 4... so we use more camera 4 shots... use tat as the safe camera... mr pok is really good with shots... bla bla bla... i wan to go play my game now...

poof*

gwumbles

gwumble wone - mr selvan called to ask me to do up the stop press asap coz when they edited the story... actually my story... a fact was overlooked... so i had to get the correct version up online first... since i had planned for my team to do it over this week... i guess i dun wan to stress them up by askin for last minute rushing... so i finished it myself tonite...

gwumble twoo - my dear multicam group all had some divine epiphany or watever u call it... everyone din turn up for class today... only petrina told me she had mc... and we were supposeed to plan for the next assignment... which takes up a higher percentage than any other freakin recording we've done so far... i SUPPOSE everyone got sick all of a sudden...while i just recovered... so there i was checking the studio size... askin this and that... learning how to use the portable camera... thinking of how the shots should go... thinking of where to get stuff for the set... i guess i'll end up directing and writing my scripts and doing the set design...

gwumble twee - my back hurts

gwumble fwor - have to go do stupid s league surveys...

gwumble fwie - well.. i recorded the radio commercial 2 weeks back... and only today we realise... the info i recorded is no longer needed.... registration has closed... so now i have to go back and edit the commercial again so that we can play it...

final gwumble - juz feeling so tired mentally... horoscope sez i have to relax today coz i have a strong tendency to get stressed... which i alreadi am... i'm goin to take melatonin (again) and get some sleep... hope i dun wake up in the middle of the night again... i shall eat chocolates for breakfast... chocolate ice cream for lunch... juz anything to get happy...