tewweetwubbees

i am drowning in work... which is good... coz it takes my mind off things... but its just letting the anger grow inside... now my moods are getting even more violent... which is bad... i just stared at the kitchen knife for a long time... yay... i'm suicidal again?... maybe la...

*goes to kitchen to turn off the stove... boiling water...*

juz killed a mosquito... i hate mosquitoes...


i want somebody to share share the rest of my life share my innermost thoughts know my intimate details someone who'll stand by my side and give me support and in return she'll get my support she will listen to me when i want to speak about the world we live in and life in general though my views may be wrong they may even be perverted she'll hear me out and won't easily be converted to my way of thinking in fact she'll often disagree but at the end of it all she will understand me... i wan somebody who cares for me passionately wif every thought and wif every breathe someone who'll help me see things in a different light all the things i detest i will almost like i don't wan to be tied to anyone's strings i'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things but when i'm asleep i wan somebody who will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderly though things like this make me sick in a case like this i'll get away with it...

i'm not lonely... i'm just singing my thoughts...

i just thought today... i might not want to get married if she doesn't ever come along... i thought its 3rd time lucky but the 3rd girl that i thought will make me happy just slipped away... in the case that the 4th never appears... i will just have to find a way to get a genetically engineered son... bring him up... teach him to drive... meet his girlfriend or boyfriend... his choice... pay for the wedding... then drive my porsche into the sea... lovely future all planned out... think i won't die at 50 like some of friends who want to... i want to live a full life... i want to go to new york, scotland, paris, greece, maybe even turkey... i dun mind doing it alone but it wld be nice if there's somebody...

somebody...